Why Some People Always Think They Are Right: The Psychology Behind Unshakable Certainty
We all know someone who insists on being right, no matter the topic or evidence presented. Conversations with such individuals can feel like walking through a minefield. They dominate discussions, refuse to acknowledge their mistakes, and often leave others feeling unheard or invalidated. While it is easy to dismiss them as arrogant or controlling, the psychological reality behind this behavior is far more complex.
In this blog, we will explore the deep-rooted emotional and psychological patterns that drive some people to always assert their correctness. We will also shed light on the cognitive biases and personality traits that shape this behavior.
The Hidden Pain Behind the Mask of Certainty
As the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre famously said, “Hell is other people.” While this may sound extreme, many would agree that constantly dealing with someone who always needs to be right can be mentally exhausting. However, what we often see as arrogance or stubbornness may actually stem from emotional wounds, particularly those rooted in childhood.
According to transgenerational psychoanalyst Juliette Allais, behind the adult who appears to always be right lies a wounded child desperate to be heard. People who insist on being right in every situation often struggle with unhealed emotional pain. For them, winning arguments and proving others wrong becomes a defense mechanism that masks deeper vulnerabilities. They may react strongly to seemingly minor issues because their reactions are not truly about the present situation but rather old emotional injuries being triggered.
The Link Between Low Self-Esteem and Always Being Right
Although the behavior may come across as dominant, the motivation is often linked to insecurity rather than superiority. Juliette Allais explains that what appears to be a superiority complex can in fact be hiding an inferiority complex. In other words, these individuals do not assert themselves because they genuinely believe they are better than others. Instead, they fear being exposed as flawed or inadequate.
This need to always be right can be traced back to low self-esteem. Psychiatrist Frédéric Fanget reinforces this by suggesting that individuals who cannot tolerate being wrong often tie their self-worth to their ability to perform perfectly or gain others’ approval. When someone’s self-esteem depends entirely on how others perceive them, the idea of making a mistake becomes unbearable. Admitting error, then, feels like admitting they are unlovable or unworthy.
Childhood Conditioning and Emotional Confusion
The roots of this behavioral pattern often begin in childhood. A lack of affection, emotional support, or healthy validation during early development can lead to confusion between making mistakes and being a failure. When a child grows up associating love and approval with flawless performance, they may learn that making a mistake is equivalent to being unworthy of love. As adults, this belief persists in the form of a compulsive need to be right.
They do not argue because they enjoy conflict. They argue because they fear losing connection, being diminished, or appearing weak. The intense emotional charge behind their behavior is not about the present conversation but about proving to themselves that they are enough.
Cognitive Biases That Fuel the Need to Be Right
The human brain is wired to take mental shortcuts to simplify decision-making. However, these shortcuts, or cognitive biases, can distort how we perceive ourselves and others. Several such biases play a critical role in reinforcing the belief of always being right.
1. The Illusion of Control
Some individuals are deeply uncomfortable with uncertainty. To cope, they develop the illusion that they can control outcomes by asserting their ideas as absolute truth. This illusion provides them with a sense of mastery, even when their understanding of the situation may be incomplete or flawed. Believing they are in control helps them manage their anxiety and fear of vulnerability.
2. The False Consensus Effect
The false consensus effect is a psychological bias where individuals overestimate how much others share their beliefs or values. When someone believes their opinion is widely accepted, they become less open to alternative views. This sense of consensus strengthens their need to defend their ideas, even when confronted with contrary evidence.
3. The Dunning-Kruger Effect
The Dunning-Kruger effect is another common bias seen in individuals who always think they are right. This effect describes a cognitive distortion in which people with limited knowledge or competence in a given area overestimate their abilities. The less they know, the more confident they become. As a result, they may assert their viewpoints aggressively, completely unaware of their own limitations.
These biases work together to build a mental fortress around their beliefs. When someone is stuck in this pattern, they rarely pause to consider whether their confidence is justified or their facts accurate.
Behavior Patterns of People Who Always Think They Are Right
This mindset often manifests in recognizable behaviors. Whether in personal relationships, professional settings, or social situations, those who always believe they are right tend to exhibit the following traits:
- They avoid self-reflection or any suggestion that they might be wrong, even when faced with clear evidence.
- They monopolize conversations and dominate decision-making processes, as if their opinions are the only ones that matter.
- They listen only to respond, not to understand.
- They resist collaboration or compromise, seeking to control all outcomes.
- They downplay or dismiss their mistakes when exposed.
- They use criticism as a tool to shift focus away from their own flaws.
These behaviors do not occur in isolation. They serve as protective shields, designed to safeguard the individual’s fragile self-worth from perceived threats.
What Lies Beneath: Insecurity, Not Superiority
Though such individuals may come across as overly confident, what truly drives them is fear. Their sense of self is often so fragile that they must cling to the illusion of infallibility to feel safe. By refusing to accept differing perspectives, they preserve a sense of inner security.
Their behavior can be understood not just as a need for control, but as a strategy to avoid emotional vulnerability. If admitting they are wrong would risk emotional exposure, then maintaining their stance becomes an act of self-preservation.
This is especially true in cases where they were shamed or dismissed during childhood. In such instances, always needing to be right becomes a way to assert their existence, value, and intelligence in a world that once made them feel invisible or unworthy.
Final Thoughts
Understanding the psychology of people who always think they are right can help us approach them with more empathy. While it is important to set boundaries and maintain our own voice in conversations, recognizing that their behavior is rooted in emotional pain can reduce frustration and conflict.
Ultimately, the journey toward healthier communication involves not just correcting others, but seeking to understand what drives them. Whether in our personal lives or professional environments, emotional awareness and self-reflection can transform difficult interactions into opportunities for compassion and growth.