3 Reasons why you find it difficult to make friends

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3 Reasons why you find it difficult to make friends

“do you want to be my boyfriend?” In school and in our childhood, making new friends is almost in the field of habit. With each new activity, back on school or holiday, we have the opportunity to meet and reach new people, with more or less ease and ease, to expand our circles.

But it seems that this agility is lost for years. Because new meetings are getting rare and childhood negligence, most of us, of course, disappeared, there is an age when it is more difficult To enrich your favorable relationship,

It is difficult to find these essential assets

It should be said that by a certain age, our expectations in terms of friendship can be slightly more accurate and our limited options may be ranked. It is no longer a question to find game partner or people with whom there is a good time, but many friends who will be able to encourage us, support us and allow us To develop deep relationships,

In an episode of podcast Dey J Shetty on purposeTaken by CNBCMail Robins, coaches, writers and followers of the principle of “late”, listed three essential factors that should bring our friendship together. According to him, these similar criteria are more difficult to develop favorable relationships in adulthood:

  • They should stay or work with them : Friendship developed during childhood can be difficult to walk due to distance. Because we must be able to integrate quality moments with our friends in our loaded daily newspapers, geographical distance can be important.
  • You have to be in a similar phase of life “Everyone has a different time frame,” says Mail Robins. Some of your friends get married. Some go to universities. Some are now looking for a job. »People around him who undergo similar tests and experience the same difficulties or are very less happy to facilitate contact.
  • Their values ​​should suit you : Whether lifestyle, political thoughts or global vision of life, sharing values ​​is an essential, and potentially rare property, stable and solid favorable relationships.

Make friends in adulthood

“I think it is easy to make friends when we are a child and we face situations with other children daily and that friendship is staged or made from need (you have to find someone with whom you have to sit in school), and not like,” do not like, “doctors, doctors. Psychology todayWith age, we get the choice and autonomy in the choice of people around us. If this is good, this range of options also requires more efforts.

According to the clinical psychologist, four stages are necessary to establish new friendship:

  • Know what you’re looking for : Be sure to know what you like. What are the characteristics you see, the qualities you consider to be essential in friendship or handicapped faults?
  • Know your interests : What hobbies, passions and activities would you like to share with your friends? You can use these activities to meet new people.
  • Expand your horizon and reduce friendship : “Being a friend of work or gym is completely common, but we also want friends who develop in different fields of our lives. After learning to know someone, it is useful to develop friendship in a different context,” she advises.
  • You want to be friends : “Stay consistent, call when you say that you will, share in events. Share enough, do not avoid speaking out of fear or conversely, do not monopoly on conversation. It will be good. Be honest. Being there, be there for a long period. For a long period, Ahona Guha list.