3 sentences do not say to someone who goes badly at the risk of seriously damaging his feelings.

Does a dear person who needs to listen to him, to validate his feelings or we solve his problems? Although confidences allow you to feel appeasement, they are not always promises to repair our injuries. In some cases, saying that we are going to strengthen the link with the other, but on the contrary, it can break it.

In this regard of the trust created by these statements, actually act as a savior without understanding what the other is, can damage his self -person. We feel such “important”, recognizing as a confidant, that we want to validate the other’s feelings without taking the problem completely. A type of equivalent, often harmful, which occurs when individuals try with good intentions, with good intentions to validate the feelings of others. This behavior is so broad that now there is a word to designate it: LightGassing.

Be careful not to constantly valides other’s feelings

Spencer Greenberg, the founder of Clear Thinking, has only given theory to Lightgassing. He defines it from behavior Approve false ideas or wrong beliefs to support a person in crisisUnlike gaslighting, which is a malicious approach, lightgasing is a well -intense attempt, but very often counterproduct. This is an indifferent gesture, inadvertently, can harm the person we are trying to help.

Even if you consider that validation of the negative feelings of another is part of a friend’s role, then the risk is to create doubt and shake your self -immovable. When a person who is bad in you, he hopes that you will not doubt his word. So sometimes it is natural for you to approve his words to give it to her painful reality. “But, by acting, go back to the surface of emotions that revive the trauma and shame, which are with them,” the psychoanalytic virgin underlines Meggle. This rehearsal never provides relief when the conditions are not really fulfilled to hear to be medical. For fear of ignoring those feelings that should face your confidant, then you will validate their words without checking their words. Watch out for lightgasing!

3 sentences that cheat light

Of course, when a dear person crosses an emotional examination, it is important to validate his feelings, offer it to hear and understand. However, this should not be done at the cost of truth. It is important not to support false or poorly established comments, even if your primary intention is to support the person. Solidly, some of these examples of lightgasing show how this type of recognition can be problematic:

“You did well to react to this person in front of this person, who made you feel bad.” (Even if this reaction has harmed others)
“You did not hurt anything, this is completely the other’s fault.” (Without recognizing that the responsibility was shared)
“You are angry, so it is necessary, it is that they did something wrong.” (While anger can be baseless in some cases)

How to listen to a loved one without falling into a lightgasing trap? The real challenge lies in the balance: continue to show openness and sympathy, validate authentic feelings without wrong beliefs. This practice, delicate by nature, pushes many of us inadvertently to promote the confusion of another. Above all, if you are cope with someone who goes badly, do not hesitate to consult a professional to start therapy and take care of your mental health.