5 phrases to establish boundaries in your relationships
In our tumultuous lives, our relationships sometimes get muddled. Setting and maintaining clear boundaries is essential to managing your time, your energy and, above all, your well-being.
Boundaries are an expression of our personal needs and our self-respect, and they are essential to prevent our relationships, whether family, friends, or professional, from becoming exhausting or invasive.
Phrases to set your limits
For many of us, expressing our boundaries can be a challenge. However, there are key phrases we can use to define these boundaries in a respectful and understanding way. For example, you could say:
- “I’m so sorry you’re going through such a difficult time. Right now, I’m not able to process all of this information. Do you think we can come back to this conversation later?”
- “I’d love to help, but I’ll be overwhelmed. Is there another time?”
- “I know we don’t agree, but I won’t let you put me down like that.”
- “I can’t give any more money. I’d be happy to help in another way.”
- “I’m happy to let you borrow my dress. I’ll need it by Friday.”
Setting boundaries is not about controlling other people’s behavior, but about defining what you are willing to accept.
How to set healthy boundaries?
Explain clearly what happened and how you feel: When a boundary is crossed, take the time to explain what happened and how it made you feel. Open communication is essential to making your limits clear to others.
Communicate the limit: Once you have identified your boundaries, communicate them clearly and respectfully. You have the right to stand up for what is important to you.
Strengthen your boundaries: don’t just state them, make sure they are respected. If someone repeatedly passes them, speak up and protect yourself.
Cultivate mindfulness and emotional regulation: becoming aware of your emotions and needs is essential to setting healthy boundaries. Practice mindfulness to reconnect with yourself.
The “24 hour rule”: If you tend to say “yes” to everything to please others, adopt the “24 hour rule”. It consists of taking a period of reflection before accepting a new request or commitment. This gives you time to evaluate whether it fits your limitations and needs.