6 simple reasons why a loved one doesn’t want to see or talk to you

All our relationships can have ups and downs. Sometimes you have to work hard to make them stand the test of time. But outside of the relationship, our personal trajectories can play a role. And it is not always possible to put your finger on the root of the problem.

You have probably already had the feeling when talking or spending time with one of your loved ones that they did not necessarily seem inclined to talk to you or see you. If people who think too much may feel like the problem is with them, it’s possible that other things are at play.

6 reasons for distant behavior

Sometimes it only takes a little thing to call into question the relationship or what you may have said or done. A shifty glance, a brief response, an unreturned smile, a meeting postponed… For anyone who has a tendency to overanalyze everything, the smallest detail can trigger questions by the dozen.

But in a publication posted on Instagram, psychotherapist Sara Kuburic invited people to take a step back from the situation and consider other options. If the relationship can sometimes take a hit when one of the two doesn’t seem to want to communicate, to see you and seems distant, it’s not necessarily you that’s the problem. The expert listed six of the many reasons that can push a loved one to behave in this way:

• He or she had a bad day.
• He or she wants to spend time alone.
• He or she was disturbed by something or someone.
• He or she needs space to process certain information or events.
• He or she doesn’t want help.
• He or she does not have enough energy to invest in the relationship.

Ask the right questions

Because we can never repeat it enough: to be certain of what others are experiencing and what they need, nothing beats communication. Take the necessary distance so as not to take everything personally and question the relationship. First start by asking the other person how they are doing. Happiness researcher Stephanie Harrison advises CNBC to choose your words carefully when you ask the other person how they are. Rather than asking a simple “Are you okay?” », prefer a “How are you really?” » or “How are you doing at the moment?” “.

To go into a little more detail, the expert suggests asking the following questions: “If you were completely honest with me, how would you describe your feelings now? “, “What is going well and what is not going well? » or come back to a problem raised in the past to ask how it evolved. Finally, because this loved one doesn’t necessarily need to help, needs to breathe, and can’t answer your questions right away, just ask them what you can do for him and what he needs.