7 common behaviors that prevent you from controlling your emotions

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7 common behaviors that prevent you from controlling your emotions

Although it is completely normal to feel a whole range of emotions to varying degrees of intensity, it is our way of dealing with them that determines Our ability to self-regulateWhen anger, sadness, and frustration arise, how do you respond? “Emotional self-regulation refers to the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses, in other words, the ability to think before acting,” summarizes Arlene Cunick, author of. anxiety workbookPour very good mindSelf-regulation also includes the ability to recover from disappointment and act consistently with one’s values. ,

emotional regulation part components of emotional intelligenceAnd whether for one reason or another, there can be many reasons why these skills are less developed in us. Sometimes our own behavior prevents us from self-regulating.

Recognize signs of poor emotional regulation

Most of the time, the ability to self-regulate develops in childhood, then throughout life“In an ideal situation, a young child who throws tantrums develops into a child who learns to tolerate uncomfortable emotions without throwing tantrums, and later an adult who learns to act on uncomfortable emotions. Can control your impulses,” explains Arlene Kuncic.

But there are situations, especially in the case of weak support networks during childhood, where emotional self-regulation is not achieved, or occurs with difficulty. It can manifest itself in many forms, list PsychCentral ,

  • Sudden change in mood.
  • “Excess eating”, or compulsive eating.
  • Crying mantra.
  • emotional distress.
  • Constant interpersonal conflict.
  • Outbursts of aggression or violence.
  • self harm.
  • Disorders associated with the use of psychoactive substances.
  • Poor frustration tolerance.

These behaviors harm regulation

Although poor emotional regulation can be linked to childhood, some of our behaviors may also promote it. Virtual absence of self-regulation“Certain behaviors signal the brain to activate the stress response system, which puts the body in a state of hypervigilance, fear, or overwhelm,” writes Nawal Mustafa, a doctoral student in neuropsychology. a publication Instagram. These are important to consider as they directly impact the nervous system’s ability to return to a regulated state. ,

Among the behaviors that can cause problems, neuroscience experts list:

  • Pick up your phone consciously and stay online constantly.
  • Moving too quickly to pay attention to your surroundings.
  • Maintaining certain emotions or stress without managing it.
  • Organize your schedule without planning breaks and rest times.
  • Rushing to reach somewhere at the last moment.
  • Being with people who drain your energy.
  • Not getting much sleep.