7 reasons why you subconsciously blame yourself

Have you ever had such a deep feeling of frustration, resentment, even anger, without being able to put your finger on the root of the problem? There is no ongoing conflict between you, you are not frustrated or angry with anyone, you have not been hurt by anyone else recently… and yet, this resentment I can’t seem to leave you,

Psychotherapist Rachel Fleishman explains, “Resentment is often linked to a certain resentment toward someone or something, rooted in a past injustice, real or perceived, and old feelings of anger that are associated with it.” very good mindPeople tend to suppress their resentment because it is based on a deep feeling of being wronged. »But when nothing and no one has caused this feeling, can we ourselves be at the origin?

detect resentment

“Resentment is not only something we feel toward others, but it is also something we can feel toward ourselves,” recalls Nawal Mustafa, a doctoral student in neuropsychology. a publication On Instagram. it is a form of self-sabotage That drains your energy, reduces your confidence, and keeps you in a cycle of guilt and inaction. ,

You feel resentment when you can’t let go or forgive. According to the site’s listing, this condition can lead to negative emotions like anger, frustration, hostility, bitterness or anxiety on a daily basis. webmdyou can do it too feel regret or remorse“Resentment, when it is nurtured within us, can become fertile ground for self-doubt,” says Susan Albers, a psychologist for the website. clinic From Cleveland. This means that we distort our perceptions, question our worth, and allow others to manipulate our reality when we hold these emotions. ,

7 drivers of self-resentment

Nawal Mustafa says, when you say “yes” to things that don’t match your values ​​or interests, when you strive for perfection, or when you don’t talk about your needs, Self-resentment develops. She explains, “Real change happens when you stop betraying your own needs and start setting boundaries, not only with others, but with yourself.”

To better understand how we can develop resentment toward ourselves and blame ourselves without realizing it, the expert listed behaviors that promote it ,

• You say “yes” to things you wish you could say “no” to and end up regretting.
• You procrastinate on important tasks and become frustrated by lack of action.
• You can’t forgive yourself for past mistakes.
• You set high standards for yourself and are very self-critical if you don’t live up to them.
• You don’t communicate your desires and end up getting disappointed.
• You try to live up to familial and cultural expectations at the expense of your own happiness and needs.
• You minimize your accomplishments and don’t take time to realize how far you’ve come.