9 Signs You’re Ready to Break Up a Friendship
With time, everything goes away, and so do friends. Because if we often talk about romantic breakups, experiencing friendship heartbreak can be all the more painful. But very often, when a friendship is doomed to failure, when it is one-sided, when it becomes insignificant, even toxic, losing it can mark a new beginning and the opportunity to move forward. with a more serene mind.
Why doesn’t this friend hear from you anymore? Why has it changed? Did you say or do something that made him run away? These questions often remain unanswered despite yet another attempt at discussion with the person concerned. Because some people need to belong to a group, they take advantage of you, or they simply don’t like you anymore, they decide to leave, while sometimes making a few appearances in your life. And even when friendships are sincere, they can just as easily end. Whether it’s because of a misunderstanding, changes in habits, opposing life directions, or simply the fault of the passage of time, sometimes it’s time for a friendly breakup. But how do you know if you are ready to signal the end of this relationship?
The 9 signs that prove you are ready
To get out of this cycle and put an end to the myth of the “friend for life”, certain signs must be taken into consideration, explains Nedra Glover Tawwab, psychologist and author of the book Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself (in French: Set limits, find peace: a guide to reclaiming yourself). “Breaking up with friends can be difficult and yet necessary,” emphasizes the specialist. To know if the time has come to say goodbye to the friend of yesteryear, here are the 9 affirmations to take into account:
- You dread spending time with your friend;
- It bores you very often;
- You have changed and the relationship no longer suits you;
- You avoid his calls and messages;
- You are reluctant to share good news (or any other news) with the person concerned;
- You no longer have anything in common;
- You are tired of setting boundaries that are not respected;
- This relationship no longer allows you to get what you need;
- When you share time with this friend, you don’t feel like yourself.
When the friendly breakup frees
On Instagram, the psychologist receives numerous testimonials from Internet users who tell how certain friendly breakups have done them good. “When I began to recognize my own addictive patterns and became aware of the ways in which I wanted to please people, I could see how my relationships were unbalanced and unreciprocal. Some friendships and family relationships could no longer evolve, so they had to end,” says one of Nedra Glover Tawwab’s subscribers.
Another testimony also caused a reaction. “I learned this lesson with difficulty but I am grateful to see this evolution”, says Nydia, who continues: “a few years ago, I dreaded finding myself in the company of a friend because I could not feel myself.” Faced with the caring behavior of this person who often invited her to go out, the young woman forced herself to maintain the relationship. “One day, an argument broke out and my friend exploded in anger. We have never spoken since. It was confirmation that this person should no longer be in my life, Nydia regrets. If I had listened to my instincts and respected my boundaries much earlier, I could have avoided such an unpleasant ending. Now I respect my feelings if I just don’t like someone, I no longer try to “rationalize” my feelings. On the contrary, I honor them.”