Are you afraid of how others look at you? Here’s what it says about you

Feeling observed, judged, even criticized by others is a feeling that many of us know. Despite social injunctions that encourage us not to worry about the opinions of others, it is often difficult to free ourselves from this fear. But where does this fear of the gaze of others come from, and what does it say about us?

Real social phobia

Fear of what others will look at is a complex emotion that can affect our daily lives to varying degrees. For some, it manifests itself as slight shyness, for others, it can lead to real social phobia. This fear is often a reflection of a negative judgment that we make of ourselves and that we project onto others.

As explained by Delphine Py, a clinical psychologist interviewed by Cosmopolitan“the problem is not occasionally worrying about how others look, but living in constant fear of judgment.”

Tendency to compare oneself

Several factors can fuel this anxiety. Low self-esteem makes us more vulnerable to criticism and judgment. Perfectionists, in the incessant quest for excellence, fear not living up to the expectations of others. Anxiety disorders also amplify this fear, as does the tendency to compare oneself to others, which can lead to dissatisfaction and devaluation. Fear of rejection can cause some people to change their behavior to match what they think others expect of them.

This fear of how others will look influences our behavior. It can prevent us from being ourselves, curb our ambitions and make us doubt our place in society. We can then feel constantly monitored and judged, which affects our self-confidence and our well-being.

Accept your imperfections

Yet it is important to realize that most people are too busy with their own concerns to pass harsh judgment on us. By realizing that we cannot read other people’s minds, we can begin to let go of these negative assumptions.

To detach yourself from the gaze of others, it is essential to work on yourself. By developing stronger self-esteem, allowing ourselves the right to make mistakes and accepting our imperfections, the gaze of others becomes less oppressive. As Delphine Py points out, “you can’t control what other people think, but you can control what you think about yourself and try to be more kind”. Cultivating this kindness towards oneself is a key step in freeing oneself from the weight of other people’s judgment.