Are you surrounded well? According to a psychiatrist, this question to find out
It is often said that a good entry is the key to welfare. But beyond appearance, are we really surrounded? Friends, family, colleagues … We interact with many people every day, without always questioning the real impact of these relationships on our balance. Feel supported, listened, understood – or vice versa, is isolated, tired, even the judge – makes all differences.
However, sometimes it is difficult to identify the effect that our loved ones have put on us, because we have integrated some relationship dynamics. So, if we asked you “Are you surrounded well?”, Can you answer with certainty? I take stock: Answer these ten questions to assess your relationship health:
- Are you suffering from loneliness? Do you have a feeling of having enough friends, not to run out?
- Do you interact with someone at least once a day?
- Do you have a best friend or a spouse you can “say”?
- Do you easily attach a conversation with a stranger?
- Do you have different levels of relationships (knowledge, colleagues, friends, friends)?
- Have you kept children or young friends?
- Do you have relationships with others satisfactory, balanced?
- Do you know when there is a “problem” with a loved one, to talk about it and listen to yourself?
- As you grow up, do you still want to share it?
- Do you support annoyance, contradiction?
If I can assure myself …
Do you have only positive answers? Your social cloth is blind solid and you know how to create a balanced relationship. You know that your good also passes through others. Since the morning of time, man has been a social animal whose existence depends on his companions. “In the 1940s, psychiatrist and psychoanalytic Rene Spritz saw that inside the orphanages where infants received only physical care, without any appearance, they finished developing or dying serious behavioral disorders, Dr. Stephen Clargate reports. Social food helps us to survive, because it allows us to survive and make its identity through the need for a fundamental recognition. Gives. “The longest scientific study on happiness and health is that it is good The quality of our conversation that makes us happy Atte Keeps us healthy“We have seen a decline in blood pressure and heart rate, so physical welfare, when relationships were satisfactory with loved ones, teach us psychiatrists.
Some researchers have also shown that people living in a long time benefits from better immunity, low dependence behavior, less inflammatory diseases and live longer. But let the single be convinced! Dark, durable and positive relationships (with relatives) are equally important. “They are one of the main daily sources of positive emotions and reduce stress,” the author explains Brain (Leduk, 2024). With a difficult situation, relatives bring us their skills, time, encouragement, even their content or financial assistance. Physical contact will also act as a pain reliever. It has been proved that sharing a positive experience with a loved one will multiply our happiness. Emphasizing Stephen Clargate, “Therefore it is our interest to cultivate attachment relations for all, including the school or professional community.” You should know that at some time of life, adulthood – with a peak in family and professional responsibilities – and of retirement, our links with others are more in danger.
I wonder when…
If you have many negative answers, you should consider helping in front of “complex” relationships. When we always repeat similar errors in love or friendship (emotional dependence, conflict, ivihar…), or that our relationship is marked by imbalance – it is always what gives or receives with time – even domination or hold, it is useful to consult a psychiatrist.
He can help us understand our “early patterns” (eg fear of abandonment) or our (personal or family) beliefs that push us to apply clums (unconscious) strategies serving a relationship. Alert signal? Discomfort, discomfort, self-departure, isolation …
I adopt the right reflex …
If you have some negative answers, then some ways have been given here to improve your social relationships … and feel better! Filling time for those who matters to us, “It is better to make a place for him in our agenda, instead of thinking about only a friend or to indicate him on social networks, which recommends Stephen Clargate by creating rituals of reunion. Regular phone calls, etc. So the importance of thinking about the relationship, to establish a united structure.
Take interest in another, really: “Accept to help or receiving help increases the feeling of relationship proximity and, therefore, recognizes the psychiatrist, provided that it is not always the one who supports this or that role. Honesty friendship is the last” free “, non -conventional relationship. This is the same that creates the beauty and beauty of this link that invites us to open the difference. Oppose the temptation to be interested in honestly and in his opinion. “Please tell me more?”
Express your feelings (and allow the other to do it)
A 1994 study by American psychologists Nancy Collins and Lynn Miller at Buffalo University showed that those who give intimate information about them more appreciate than those who are clinging to factual conversation themes. “Coming on their feelings can be used to clarify conflicting or vague situations,” emphasizes the psychiatrist. Or to prevent the risk of expectations and despair, to make a request, to make a request. The relationship should avoid our personal changes and read regularly. Listening and non-nine, of course, are necessary to establish an atmosphere of faith and develop a sense of security for confidence. Like sympathy attempt: Trying to understand another (and show it) will be more important than really understanding it …
Hold each other in good behavior: Take another as a model for progress, let’s zoom what he or relationship brings us … and let’s not forget to thank what he brings us. “In a state of hard conversation, we quickly taxes it (” is “problem”) or “toxic” tax, even stop it (“I humiliate”), regrets our expert. Lost, one of ten, we think … wrongly. A spouse or a friend can be painful, but we still love it! If we want the other, we should learn to show mental flexibility and do not explain your words or reactions in the context of our thoughts automation (confirmation of prejudice, generation, confirmation of our beliefs…). ,
Give importance to “insignificant relationships”
If, to feel good, it would be necessary to have at least four close relationships of full confidence, then many researches have also shown that the “weak” links are morale on a daily basis. “These people whom we sometimes meet (Kansiaz, Factor, Trader …) contributes to their appearance and their habits, for the development of a confident framework -they know us and we know them -,, assure Stephen Clargate.
They allow us to verify their degree of social acceptance, going out “presentable”. These prevent small social interaction. Either not to ignore, sometimes links (knowledge), which are compatible with the desire of our life: they promote information and circulation of opportunities … perhaps including important meetings! The well -surrounded feeling is not only counting on others, it is also learning that our intimate circle is worthy of a place. After all, good relationships are not measured in quantity, but in quality: They calm you, calm you and allow you to be completely yourself.
*724 was studied by Harvard University of Medicine School with early participants and more than 1,300 descendants of all origins from 1938.
** Source: “You have to learn to be happy”, article by Social Sciences Ernst Gehmacher, published in Happiness, The Grand Book of Happiness (Les éditions de l’Me, 2011).