Couple: do you suffer from “roommate syndrome”?

Moving in together is often seen as a major step in a relationship. However, this cohabitation can, over time, transform intimacy into simple shared accommodation. When discussions are limited to logistics, intimacy becomes rare and everyone leads independent lives, the emotional bond risks fraying.

This phenomenon, called “roommate syndrome,” can significantly affect couple dynamics. But how do you know if you are a victim, and above all, how to rekindle the flame? Here are the tips shared by Mark Travers, psychologist at the media PsychologyToday.

Reduced communication

Couples affected by this syndrome communicate little or not about their emotions, desires or aspirations. Discussions, often limited to domestic organization, lose depth. The lack of dialogue creates emotional distance, giving the impression of living with a stranger rather than a partner.

To regain a connection, reinstating moments of mutual listening is essential. Ask open-ended questions about the other person’s day or feelings.

An intimacy that fades

Physical and emotional intimacy are essential for a couple to thrive. When tender gestures become rare or sexuality becomes mechanical, a gap widens. This lack of contact can be interpreted as emotional withdrawal, fueling a vicious cycle.

Reviving intimacy requires small touches: a spontaneous kiss, a hug or a planned meeting to get together outside of everyday life.

Parallel lives

Independence is healthy in a relationship, but when partners lead almost completely separate lives, an imbalance sets in. Spending time together, away from screens or obligations, is a pillar of marital well-being.

A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that couples who actively invest their time in each other have significantly higher levels of well-being. Plan shared activities, even simple ones, to recreate common memories.