Do you suffer from this disorder that makes you doubt your relationships?

Although we talk more frequently about attachment difficulties within couples and the emotional torment it represents, all of our relationships can know their ups and downs. This is especially the case at the beginning of any relationship, when doubts and questioning can be daily.

Whether with your friends or your partner, the relationship may have lasted for years, having been strengthened by trust, respect, communication, yet, doubts come back regularly. Will the relationship continue? Is he hiding something from me? Does he feel what I feel about him? What if all these questions were linked to your relationship anxiety?

Signs of relationship anxiety

Relationship anxiety is characterized by a feeling of worry or insecurity in the relationship. “It can take the form of constant doubt about the other person’s feelings, a fear of rejection or a need too much to be reassured,” explains Alisha Powell, therapist, for Choosing Therapy. It is important to note that this type of anxiety can affect anyone in any relationship and it does not necessarily mean that it must be put an end to. It may depend only on oneself and not have a direct link with the relationship in question.

“While it’s normal to have occasional doubts, persistent anxiety can take a toll on relationships and impact your overall mental and emotional health,” says the relationship expert. Several signs should alert you to doubts and concerns that would indicate a deeper problem:

• You wonder if you matter to him/her.
• You seek constant reassurance from him.
• You fear that he/she will end the relationship.
• You always need reassurance.
• You are jealous for no reason.
• You are sabotaging the relationship.
• You ruminate on his actions and words.
• You spend more time worrying than enjoying.

The causes of relationship anxiety

“While some relationship anxiety is normal, when it becomes persistent and disrupts your well-being, it’s important to explore the root causes,” says Alisha Powell. The possible causes of relationship anxiety are numerous and can sometimes have taken root for a long time without one realizing it. It is in particular the case of attachment style. The way those around us took care of us during our childhood, accompanied us, supported us, loved and listened to us may have developed an anxious attachment in adulthood. People who have an anxious attachment style are often questioning their worth and on the lookout for early signs that their partner might be losing interest in them, says Very Well Mind.

Low self-esteem, negative or even traumatic relational experiences, and a tendency to question may in particular be at play, list Healthline. It can also be one of the manifestations of an anxiety disorder. “In people with anxiety disorders such as generalized anxiety disorder, constant worry and fear about various aspects of life often extends to relationships, making it difficult to trust and feel safe,” notes Alisha Powell. This is also the case for couple OCD which can create obsessive doubts and fears which induce compulsive behaviors such as requests for reassurance from the other.