Gaslighting: This toxic manipulation technique that loses you the cause
“Before meeting them, I have always considered myself an independent woman, despite my insecurity, my life is well surrounded in my life. And then, at the age of 31, I married her and we were a child quickly. It is there that the situation really deteriorated. Unable to manage my new mental charge only as a mother. Facing her with her contradictionsHe always gave me that he never said that I made films, even I lost my head. Over time, I no longer challenged: he was right, it was me who had lost his leg ”.
He had a raw time as he was away from being mad, Ameli was a victim of gaslighting. This form of toxic, manipulation is always involved in bringing a person who suffers to question himself that he comes to convince himself that he is not normal, even crazy. According to the lie, Inudendo, the modification of his victim’s environment, the manipulator inspires him to doubt his perception, his memory, even his mental health. “With gaslighting, the manipulator gradually renewed the significant thinking of his prey, so that his attractiveness can be modified to establish his grip. Therefore, the word is that we sometimes use in Canada or cognitive turn, ”Isabel Nazre-Aga explains.
Gaslighting: When the other drins us mad
And to specify that the victims of the gasliters are really prey: “Unlike normal manipulations, who will behave the same with everyone, the gaslieter chooses his victims: he always chooses people (women or men of men) The one who has a shortage of love and respect for themselves, ”for the good reason: this is when we do not have enough respect for ourselves that we are more likely to remember others Is another victim of choice: People with emotional dependence.
“People in the event of” Emotional dependence When they are in a couple, they only give value. There is a true fear of living alone and dying alone in their homes for age. Results: They prefer to be poorly, even if it means to be in refusal so that it does not suffer, “Isabel misses Nazre -ga. In both cases, manipulation is all easy because it is based on an effect, even a love affair, which is engaged in confidence. There are 4 mechanisms of gaslighting here.
Self-confidence
The gaslight is always successful in establishing the relationship of faith in the context, in which there is no reason for the victim, a priority, doubt. It also feels more reinforced in this confidence because the manipulator has multiplied efforts to woo it, sometimes to put in love-bombings at this point.
With the handcite, Amelie finds out: “When I meet, I was not especially under magic. But he showed firmness, send me a soft word at any time of the day. I remember I was talking to my friends about it: he told me that it could be worth trying, after all, if he tried so much, it was what he was really holding me “.
Solitude
Once the relationship is established, the gaslite slowly removes its prey from its entry. Objective: Separate it to avoid any contradiction or external intervention in your relationships.
The gaslieter makes a form of doubt about the affection that is doubtful about our loved ones, their qualities, their honesty, their intentions, so that the person he only tampered with, “a doctor. Quote as an example.
Inauguration of doubt
When the victim is separated, the long handling process comes out. To doubt this, the gasliteer makes a completely contradictory comment on everything, sometimes from one day to the other, even from one hour to another, then refuses them as a whole. , Openly lies. He also denies his actions, despite the evidence, it is going so far that the intentions of honesty or his victim are questioned. Amélie confirms this: “We had a quite tight budget. However, he spent without counting. When I showed him my account statement, he always told me that it was not that, that someone had to steal his bank details, even it was something to blame myself.
Isabel Nazare-Aga reminds us of a reversal of the specific situation of gaslighting: “When the victim tries to put the manipulator in front of his contradictions, he systematically” I never said “or” You have false Understood ‘. And if hunting reveals his disappointment or even his anger, he will continue to reduce its perception about the situation by giving it mental fault, because’ you completely history Are ‘or’ You are completely crazy ‘.
In parallel, the gasliteter can act to modify your victim’s environment to sow confusion. Transfer the business so that it does not find them, disconnects electrical appliances so that they do not work … and always in the relay, in a logical discourse, which leaves no doubt about the responsibility of the victim, also Is gaslighting. It is hiding glasses as soon as possible, why not every day, and just “Slide your glasses?” If they are not there, this is because you must have posted them elsewhere! ,
Loss of autonomy
In a systematic manner, these lies and innocent at the same time end in a person born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is born in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person who is in a person at the same time is a lie and innocent person,, even, even in the look, confidence and self -reliance, even Inability to make decisions alone also.
“The victim suspects her own choice, slows down in any initiative, even for the most trivial things of everyday life like race,” the psychiatrist has specified that Gasli exercised exercises This is a strong index of the Gaya hold, this eternal question. That all the victims ask themselves: “What is that thinking?” ,
How to get out of gaslighting?
As the case may occur in the conditions of grip, the victim is not generally known about being, which makes the return normal and is more difficult. If someone around him comes to criticize the manipulator, the victim will defend, “he continues. And yet, to eliminate gaslighting, relatives play a decisive role. In fact, in fact, in front of brainwashing The victims have described themselves out of the grip, only the exterior to the couple can click an excitement, as the case with Amelie: “I had a chance to be able to maintain a relationship. My sister. With the obstacle, I tell myself that she is not a threat to her eyes: she stayed far away, we have rarely have the opportunity to see us. But when she came to meet us, she accepted me that I don’t recognize me anymore: I was on the verge of depression, I was on the verge of depression … He was on me to accept her help without accusing me his partner Inspired.
In the case of gaslighting, this hand spread without decisions can create all differences. Then, once the contact is taken and anxiety is shared, it is important to give the victim the necessary support to the victim to realize his condition. “A video, an article that she can read far away from her manipulator, recognizes herself and exits the refusal” Isabel Nazarer underlines. ” More than coaching is more than analysis, at least it will always be your self -working time. In this case, going away when rebuilding.
To go ahead
The word “gaslighting” refers to a play of Patrick Hamilton, Gas lightWhich was staged in London in the late 1930s, then a few years later adapted to cinema in a film titled Charles Boys and Ingrid Bergman. In the heart of the intrigue, a delicate girl, Bela Mallan, looks at her husband (disappearance of objects, denying events of incidents, etc., etc., which pushes her towards madness.