Here is the secret of permanent romantic and friendly relationships

When a dear person shares his difficulties, our natural reflex often has to advise him or keep his problem in perspective. However, the simple recognition of his emotions has a much more powerful effect than a prepared solution, said that in pillars of psychiatrist Ilene S.Cohen PsychologyTo say that “I understand that it is difficult for you is” often “it’s not serious, you are going out of it more comfortable than” you are going out “.

Feeling hearing without trying makes it possible to reduce the defense and promote more honest communication. In a couple or friendship, emotional verification installs a dynamic where everyone can express their feelings without misunderstanding or being rejected.

Trap to avoid listening to another

To face the crisis of a loved one, it wants to help solve his problem immediately. However, it can give the perception that his feelings in relation to the need to work are secondary. Before offering a solution, start showing that you understand what he feels.

To say that “it’s not so serious” or “other people live well” may seem trivial, but these sentences can be considered as neglect of other’s feelings. Each emotion is valid and worthy of being recognized, even if it seems odd to us.

How to practice emotional verification?

I responding to a confidence with “I was also living this”, and thus I resumed the exchange on myself instead of giving to another express. “I see that it weighs you a lot”. It is better to favor sentences such as.

“It must be really disappointing for you” or “I understand why you feel like that” does not mean to agree with it. We can recognize a loved one without sharing the sadness or anger, just showing him that we accept his feelings.