Here’s how to respond to someone who accuses you

During a family meal, an evening with friends, a moment shared as a couple or during a conversation between colleagues, unpleasant comments can arise; when this disdain is targeted at us, it can hurt us. And it keeps playing again and again in our mind because as long as we have great spiritual knowledge, it is hard to take negative comments.

What to do and how to respond when we are the target of these attacks? The famous American therapist Nedra Glover Tawbab reveals the method of responding to the person who blames us.

words hurt. A simple sentence can leave a lasting impression without leaving room for questions or inquiries. “Was this comment meant to hurt me? Is this unexplained dirtiness or is it a result of my behavior? Why did I let myself do this? Why didn’t I answer? What could I say to defend myself? » All these questions sometimes come up when we are the object of scorn. Instead of ruminating about the origin of this unpleasant comment and jumping to conclusions, what if we acted differently? What if we reacted immediately to this insulting comment instead of remaining silent? The goal is obviously not to create a contradictory situation, but to understand and explain with kindness the reasons that guided our interlocutor to say this sentence.

Nedra Glover considers it important to work in the face of criticism. “Don’t let this happen. When someone says something mean, improve your behavior immediately or immediately afterward. When abuse is ignored, undesirable behaviors continue to occur.

“Sometimes people don’t know how to express things to you; When you want them to change the way they express themselves, let them know,” Nedra Glover tells Tawwab on her Instagram account, where she has over one million followers. According to the expert, these 7 ways to respond to negative comments help defuse them:

• “I don’t like the way you said this sentence”;
• “I would like you to emphasize your position. Can you choose your words consciously and pay attention to the tone you use? ,
• “To make sure you answer appropriately, can you clarify what you mean?” ,
• “It was bad”;
• “Please don’t talk to me like that”;
• “This doesn’t seem like a trivial thing. Is there something deeper that we need to discuss? ,
• “Is there another way to express what you said because it sounds cheesy?” What if you tried again? ,