Is he afraid to confuse as a couple? These 4 reasons that stop it
As we move away from the traditional pattern of relationships, we also leave their label. This gave birth to a particular form of romantic relationship, “position”. Rapid common, this trend defines a romantic relationship that does not present the commitment and the standards and expectations associated with it.
If this relationship ambiguity can suit both sides, it can cause grief and frustration when someone wants to talk about commitment and another is done by the natural course of relationship without choice, wondering where it takes us Goes, communication is necessary. A “sexual recession”, according to an IFOP pole, Claire Petin, Clinical Psychological. Rapidly separation from conjunctiva (or even dear), while the fear of commitment is considered by some people as a crisis. Thus, the form he takes has come against a certain ideological construction of the couple and hence traditional romantic relations. The commitment can then be considered uncertain ”.
An unsafe attachment during childhood
Fear of grief, painful past, lack of confidence … What is really hidden behind this fear of commitment? There is not a single explanation. Origin can be diverse. The person’s experience, especially mentioned during his early childhood (divorce, separation, infidelity, deception within the couple of parents (flirt, love failure, betrayal …) Is performed, analysis pierre nantas, psychiatrist. This experience has structured inappropriate initial schemes that generate automatic thinking that decides that you should no longer take unnecessary risk to avoid disappointment, unrelated feeling, apathy, rejection or abandonment. These conditions or symptoms are almost always associated with unprotected attachment during childhood during childhood and are associated with the inability of parents in recognizing or welcoming their child’s feelings or pain.
After becoming an adult, after one or more romantic failures, the fear of suffering prevents the person from starting a new relationship again. She “changes”, often considers the sexual aspect of the relationship and is in favor of meetings, one evening “blow”. Sometimes, anything chooses to eliminate any intimate relationships, which is to create a cross on sex. These people are no longer “in contact” with reference. Emotional independent “head, body, and heart” is interrupted, usually completely unconscious for real reasons that he no longer focuses on anyone. He is not suffering because he is no longer in relationship. However, he assures a affectionate dependent partner that he assures that he wants to be in a relationship when he only wants sex or just does not want to be alone. There are 4 incompetent beliefs that were identified by Pierre Nantas, settled during childhood.
1. Fear of being wrong, resentment
Is it difficult for him to decide? There are different reasons for ambition. This may be a fear of failure, but or how to make the right choice should be ensured and not wrong, then not regretted, regretting and regretting. Completeist, along with the plan of high requirements -with the discovery of ideal and perfection in everything in everything, but also for the other.
The fear of the future is fuel at the point from the memories of a painful past that we often forget to live the present.
2. Fear of taking responsibility
The word “responsibility” means risk over time. The person feels as a suffocation, crushing.
Impressed by the experience of betrayal or misconduct, she forgets that she can trust herself and trust another.
3. Fear of losing your freedom, your comfort
This is interesting for those who are afraid of joining love, to take stock of the way they have freedom. What do they do to flourish with their freedom and come true?
Meeting a new person does not forget his world to enter her. Here are self -subjective and subjugation plans that are at work.
4. Ultimate contradiction: fear of succeeding
The fear of change, the novelty that will arise, and therefore about the uncertainties that would have to be managed again. To be successful, one has to taste the happiness of a moment, happiness and happiness. This occasion may be affected by fear of failure to a large extent, or to transfer the prohibition of the parents that can perform their duty before enjoying themselves.
Pierre Nantas are psychiatrists who specialize in supporting border people and suffering at work. He is particularly the author of the Le System Borderline, Family Stories (co-written with Dr P. Menu) and faces borderline personality disorder (co-written Manon Beudine).
Pierre Nantas are psychiatrists who specialize in supporting border people and suffering at work. He is particularly the author of the Le System Borderline, Family Stories (co-written with Dr P. Menu) and faces borderline personality disorder (co-written Manon Beudine).