The manipulator’s strategy for getting out of an uncomfortable situation
When we suspect them of using us, confronting manipulators is our first reaction to confronting them with a successful accomplishment. There is nothing scary for these psychic vampires who are used to reacting in such situations. When the noose tightens, the most experienced among them have mastered the art of extricating themselves from the most uncomfortable situations.
Isabel Nazaré-Agha, behavioral and cognitive therapist and author of the work, says, “Avoiding confrontation, whether peaceful or hostile, allows the manipulator to engage, assert himself, support a problem or conflict, or Prevents solving.” there are manipulators among us (Les Editions de l’Homme). But since they never let the mask drop, how do manipulators escape situations that haunt them? The expert reveals the strategies they adopt and specific phrases they can say in this type of situation.
5 methods manipulators use to get out of it
Flip the situation. This is what the manipulator knows how to do better than anyone else. Isabel Nazaré-Agha believes, “The manipulator does not explicitly say that he does not want to go to a particular meeting, such an appointment or dinner.” The behaviors adopted may be numerous, but some are more revealing than others:
- He has an obstacle and announces it at the last moment (and often the message is sent through an intermediary). Sometimes he makes excuses by promoting himself and sometimes by presenting himself as a victim.
- He was not seen at the scene.
- He systematically arrives late and hence has to wait most of the time.
- He is present, but manages to attract personal attention from his neighbors, regardless of what is happening within the group.
- He suddenly doesn’t want to continue talking about a topic with you. “We can’t communicate with you! ,
Phrases spoken in this type of situation
If manipulators adopt specific behaviors, we can also recognize them through their speeches. “A manipulator may often remain vague without stating his opinion, which prevents him from taking a real part in a decision.” If he intervenes in an uncomfortable situation, he must prepare sentences that can win his case:
- “I couldn’t come yesterday; I was overwhelmed with work. My coworker didn’t do his job. Luckily I noticed it in time.”
- He refuses to resolve a conflict that directly concerns him, because it arises from a serious error made by one of his employees: “I don’t want to participate in your stories. Mr. Taylor didn’t tell me about it himself!
- He postpones the topic until later: “I don’t have time”, “Let me sleep”, “Don’t bother me with this anymore, I’m tired”, “Wait, I’m listening to the radio”, or Under other pretexts, the topic in question will ultimately never be discussed.