These 7 nets explode couples after a wedding, according to the doctor (and how to avoid them)
Finding true love and sharing very deep links with a person can be rare. But when this happens to us, many people take connections for acquisition. Two companions.
In columns of HafpostMany physicians have listed the biggest obstacles and dangers that can inspire a wedding (or a love story) to its loss. There are seven in numbers and if they are useful to know, it is good to be able to identify them in their relationship, to understand them better and thwart them.
Compare your relationship
Trying to compare your marriage to other people “A whole can be dangerous for the health of the relationship”Abigail makepiece, marital and family physicians ensure. “Although some comparments can strengthen you, they usually lead to a negative self -idea”She also suggests that “false realities” condemns that we compare ourselves on social networks. This is only a small observation – often very limited – what is the life of another couple.
“By closing to compare yourself, you will make more space for gratitude and fulfillment in your relationship”Specifies the specialist. This is also an opportunity to find time to think about the development of your couple or the difficulties you have made. “This change of mindset can improve your normal mood and encourage you to get closer to your spouse”She concludes.
Birth of a child
According to several studies, marital happiness after the birth of a child decreases, especially during the first year of your life, and it takes some time to come back completely. “Many married couples share the ultimate goal of starting a family, but often ignore the deep impact that can be on children’s marriage and can get married”Nicole Saunders, says social worker. ,It is not uncommon for couples to start their disconnection On the birth of your first child “He continues.
To measure this, experts jointly recommend being committed to spend time for communication within the couple. “It may be simple as booking a cup of 15 minutes in the morning to take a cup of coffee together, or prefer quality time – without distracting like a phone – before sleeping for throat and conversation” “She advises. “It is also a question of finding time for sexuality and intimacy, taking into account the time associated with energy obstacles and parents’ responsibilities”.
Think that you and your partner will be the same
Many people wrongly believe that the person they marry (and themselves) will be the same in five, ten or fifty years. “When we make our partner or ourselves hostage and do not allow change, we do this for our personal and collective happiness”Lauren Bailey observes the doctor. Instead, try to give you and your spouse to the place you need to learn and develop.
“Create a shelter of peace that allows your partner to bring back into the relationship he searches himself and asks him to do so for you too”, She advocates. Make sure you have a place where you can express your fear without blocking the discovery of your half. vice versa, “If she tries to end your exploration, assure her by telling that it does not mean the end of the relationship”Analysis analyzes the doctor.
Do not take time to take regular review
According to David Narang, the couple doctor is not taking “Emotional pulse” Almost daily ways have the effect of digging the distance between you on another. “It separates you from each other and makes you more sensitive to acute conflicts and potential betrayal”, He reveals. Therefore, the expert talks about the events of the day and suggests to spend 15 to 20 minutes every evening and more importantly that “Emotional effects of these events – for example, happiness, stress, fear or sadness – on each partner”,
Ask questions to assimilate your partner’s attitude. “When we understand by our partner, we get the closeness we need and therefore we are more interested in protecting our couple”He confirms. This means, for example, that in the event of conflict, we are more likely to save it than derailing it.
Get away after others
According to Nicole Saunders, if you continuously pass the needs of others, you cannot be a good companion. “If you hate your body, keep your personal aspirations aside and ignore your emotional good, it will be difficult for you to give your best in your relationship”She insists.
instead, “Book every day to take care of yourself”She advocates. It promotes self -defense, a positive attitude and joy in general. “Including this energy into a daily relationship immediately improves mobility”she adds.
Accused his partner of being at the core of his misfortune
“Although it’s not intentionally, husband -wife can channel their anger, or use it as a sacrifice for their failures”Abigail misses the makepeace. If we are sometimes influenced deeply by our partner’s actions, we cannot control our tasks only in relationships.
“Remember that we are all responsible for our happiness”Therapy is estimated. By changing the way you think, you can reduce feelings of anger and dissatisfaction “And make sure that two members of the couple are more capable of working on their happiness”She concludes.
Don’t want to ask for help
One of the biggest errors in relationships for a long time is the belief that you and your partner “Your whole life can trust each other, especially in the complex period”Lauren removes Bailey. This is a proof of strength – and not weakness – to trust other people to get emotional support when you need it.
A friend, a cousin or a sister, a help group, or even a physician when necessary … all AIDS is welcome. Above all, do not be alone with your problems. “Your loved ones are not to judge you or your partner, but to support you. Leave them there for you. It can make all the differences”She encourages.
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