This method makes others happy and makes you a good friend
We all have heard – or pronunciation – sentences like “Don’t Cry”, “worse than you” or “you should move forward”. Behind these comments, often well -well, hides a insidious phenomenon: emotional invalid. By denying the legitimacy of a feeling, we strengthen the feeling of loneliness and misunderstanding of the person that lives it.
Conversely, emotional belief involves perfectly identifying what the other feels, without trying to keep in perspective or correct its emotional state. This is a powerful lever to improve our relationships and become real support for our loved ones Sophie KauniCouple physician and sexotherapist.
Why is it necessary to validate emotions?
There is a reason for each feeling. Happiness, sadness, anger or fear: they are indicators of our internal state and are signs that guide us. When we invalidate a feeling – ours or someone else – we send the message that it is inappropriate or exaggerated, which can cause disappointment and crime.
However, emotions do not disappear when they are ignored. Conversely, they accumulate and end again with even greater intensity. Recognizing them and accepting them not only makes them better manage, but also to strengthen our psychological welfare.
A fundamental requirement for listening and recognition
When we undergo a difficult period, we are looking at all for support, not immediate advice or solution. A simple “I understand what you feel” or “It is normal to experience it in this situation” may be enough to lighten the emotional load of a loved one.
Listening to active and philanthropic is a powerful comfort factor. By accepting the feelings of the other, whatever we do, allow him to listen, understand and feel valid. This process is necessary to build relations of trust and authenticity.
How to practice emotional verification?
The first step is to welcome feelings without trying to analyze or reduce it. Instead of responding to “you exaggerate”, “I see this situation likes you a lot”. This simple change of approach shows that you recognize the spirit of the other, without trying to question it.
It is also important to remember that emotions are temporary. To say “you have the right to feel it, and it will pass” helps to keep the moment in perspective without rejuvenating the moment.
Encourage expression of emotions
Instead of removing the conversation, what does he feel to ask open questions to help the other fully express it: “What do you think?”, “What can you help you now?”.
The idea is not to solve the problem, but to provide a place to hear and understand. By encouraging the other to oralize his feelings, we naturally allow him to please her feeling and find an internal balance.