This Simple Behavior That Can Make You Much More Attractive

To fall under someone’s spell, it’s all about impression. If we often rely on the first one, the following ones can also count. When you meet someone, what is the first thing that attracts you? While some will focus on physical criteria, others will be more attracted to the most visible qualities. A sense of humor, ambition, listening, intelligence, kindness… It is sometimes possible to identify certain character traits through small behaviors.

And among the behaviors that show many qualities and could make you more attractive to others, Sara Kuburic, therapist, highlighted the fact of making an effort in a publication Instagram.

The importance of effort in the relationship

“You know what’s attractive? Effort, writes Sara Kuburic. Any type of healthy relationship requires effort.” While in the early stages of a relationship, some focus on physical attraction, chemistry and natural connection, others will make an effort They seek to know the other, to understand them, to please them. And that’s probably what will make the difference. are useful throughout the relationship.

“Making effort in a relationship means being attentive to the needs of your partner. It’s about being present in the relationship and doing your best to maintain it, says Sonali Kukreja, psychologist, for the site Marriage. Putting effort into a relationship goes way beyond material things. Rather, it’s about making your partner feel loved and valued by your involvement in the relationship. » Witnessing the efforts of others makes us feel special and wanted, which can influence our own interest in others.

Put effort into the relationship

There are many ways to exert effort. “The effort to know you. The effort of responding to a text. The effort to remember small details. The effort to ask questions. The effort to make projects,” lists Sara Kuburic. To make an effort that pays off, you still have to be curious. Asking questions, avoiding the judgment trap and engaging in deeper dialogue represents in itself an effort that could lead to others. A 2005 study, conducted by Todd B. Kashdan and John E. Roberts and published in the Journal of social and clinical psychologyhad also studied the link between curiosity and its influence on intimacy. Following several experiments, research showed that accomplices, i.e. people who worked with the researchers, were more attracted and felt closer to curious participants than those who were less curious.

In addition to curiosity and knowing and understanding others, effort also goes into by the little touches. A survey carried out in 2013 among more than 5,000 people, for example, revealed that small acts of kindness specially thought of for others were more important than generic gestures of love, such as receiving a box of chocolate. A study carried out in 2016 also highlighted that daily acts of kindness, compliments and expressions of appreciation were things that made us feel loved.