Typical profile: this is what the personality of manipulators looks like

Manipulation can affect all of our personal relationships. When it is the work of a loved one, it is particularly difficult to understand since the feelings can impair our judgment. Furthermore, it can take place when the right-of-way is already installed.

Ultimately, manipulation can have dramatic consequences on mental health and relationships with others. “Emotional manipulation in relationships can create stress, resentment and fear of being manipulated,” says Ileana Arganda-Stevens, for PsychCentral. Manipulators can cause low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. This is why it is imperative to better understand their personality to better identify and identify them.

The behavior of the manipulator

“Manipulative behavior includes actions that a person uses to influence or control someone else,” summarizes Geralyn Dexter, doctor of psychology, for Very Well Mind. In practice, handling go through the liebut also denial, silence, passive-aggressive behavior, criticism, hiding certain information or even gaslighting.

Because it is often difficult to distinguish manipulation, particularly in a situation of control, it is imperative to spot the concrete signs of this. For example, spotting a lie, having the impression that the other person is making excuses, denying something you are certain of, minimizing their actions or being constantly blamed, judged or criticized can be signs. “Feeling like you’re walking on eggshells or being afraid to express yourself or set boundaries can be another sign that the person is in an unhealthy situation,” adds Geralyn Dexter.

The origin of manipulation

“It’s important to remember that emotional manipulation is never the fault of the person experiencing it,” says Geralyn Dexter. But then, what is the cause of the manipulation? In truth, the origin can be multiple. “If a manipulative person grew up in a home characterized by competitiveness and conflict, this can carry over into adulthood,” explains Lee Phillps, psychotherapist, at PsychCentral. If she was abandoned by a parent or caregiver, she may crave attention as an adult and manipulate to get it. » Exclusion, social disadvantage, an environment favorable to “cunning, shenanigans, negotiation, exploitation of human weaknesses, ruthlessness or other forms of indirect influence and power” can be at the origin of manipulative behavior, suggests Preston Ni, author and coach, for Psychology Today.

While the need to control others and situations can come from trauma or be the result of a defense and preservation system, it can also be one of the signs of another disorder. For example, people with narcissistic personality disorder, codependency, borderline personality disorder, addiction, or antisocial personality disorder may use manipulation.