What does it mean to be a “good” parent? A school principal’s response

Faced with the intensity of parental responsibilities, it’s natural to want to do the best for your children. However, this desire sometimes leads to doing too much, to the extent that it creates stress for parents and hinders children’s autonomy.

According to Russell Shaw, interviewed by a school principal atlanticBeing a “good” parent means knowing how to be a benchmark, like a lighthouse: present to guide, but not omnipresent to manage everything. This approach, far from diminishing the role of parents, helps them foster their children’s resilience and development.

Overdoing it: A trap for parents and children

In a world where parental expectations are becoming ever higher, many people fall into the trap of overinvesting. From trying to solve every problem to blocking out every difficulty, these behaviors, often motivated by love and fear, deprive children of important opportunities to learn on their own. This excessive parenting, described as “helicopter” or “snowplow” parenting, creates emotional dependency and limits children’s confidence in their own abilities.

This incident also shows social pressure: Parents concerned about their children’s future in a competitive world want to ensure that they succeed. However, this approach, even if well-intentioned, can cause anxiety and exhaustion in both parents and children, who ultimately doubt their autonomy.

Lead parenting: a balanced choice

Instead of doing everything for their children, parents may choose to be a “beacon.” This metaphor highlights the importance of being a steady and reassuring presence when helping children deal with their challenges. Being a guiding light parent means recognizing your child’s feelings, providing moral support, and setting clear boundaries without intervening at every obstacle.

For example, when a child feels overwhelmed with a school project, the focal parent does not try to resolve the problem immediately. Instead, he listens, validates the child’s feelings, and encourages him to find his own solutions. This asana, which requires patience and perspective, helps the child develop resilience and the ability to manage difficult situations.

Learning from mistakes: an essential lesson

Allowing a child to make mistakes is an important step in his development. Every failure provides a learning opportunity, whether it’s a failed assignment, a disagreement with a classmate, or a poorly completed task. These moments teach perseverance, reflection, and taking responsibility, which are essential qualities for adults.

By intervening too early to correct mistakes or avoid them, parents inadvertently send a message: failure is a disaster that should be avoided at all costs. This attitude limits a child’s learning and may reinforce his or her fear of taking risks. In contrast, a parent who values ​​effort and experiential learning prepares his or her child to face the complexities of life with confidence.