What your position among siblings says about your personality
It is now scientifically proven: the place in a sibling group undeniably builds the personality. We have already noticed this unconsciously since childhood. For example, younger children nourish the conviction that their elders have benefited from privileges: older, they have the right to go to bed later, to go out alone While we envy his freedoms, the eldest, for his part, remembers above all the responsibilities linked to his place, with the heavy task of dealing with new intruders who have come to upset his family. daily.
Rest assured, no place among siblings is more favorable than another in the construction of a personality. In reality, each imposes its own challenges and requires overcoming specific trials. Should we therefore think that our place in the adult world is determined, even predetermined, by our birth order? In any case, this is the thesis supported by Frank J. Sulloway, psychologist and historian of science at Harvard University. To define the contours of this concept, we reviewed the different character traits according to birth order, with the keen eye of Maureen Richard, clinical psychologist. But first, the specialist warns us: “the traits examined are generalizations and can vary depending on many factors, including family dynamics, education, each child’s individual personality, parenting styles and way in which roles are distributed within the family. »
1. The personality of the elder
Harvard researcher Frank J. Sulloway believes that when a younger child is born, the older child strives to preserve his position and privileges. He thus unconsciously engages in a struggle to maintain his status. Faced with this observation, one might believe that the eldest would be predestined to become a fervent defender of the established order and a resolute opponent of change.
If you are the eldest of your siblings, it is a safe bet that you are distinguished by an unwavering will, an authoritarian temperament and an incessant quest for perfection. From a young age, you knew clearly what you wanted for your future. It is not uncommon for you to follow in the footsteps of your parents or grandparents in the professional field, guided by this defined ambition. However, you sometimes carry the weight of deep anxieties: the fear of failure, of error, or of disappointing those around you. When you arrived in the world, you were the center of attention in your family, a status which, even today, pushes you to excel and to embody an example for your cadets. Moreover, your protective instinct naturally led you to watch over your youngest child, taking him under your wing with kindness.
“Once you become an adult, you continue to assume the leadership role that was given to you as a child,” analyzes clinical psychologist Maureen Richard. If important decisions must be made, it is you that all eyes will turn to, because you inspire wisdom, natural leadership and self-confidence! Your parents tend to lean on you: your opinion matters. Another quality? Your brothers and sisters can count on you at any time. »
2. The personality of the cadet
Unlike the elders, the cadets, having had to fight to find a place for themselves, would “naturally” develop an open-mindedness and an appetite for new ideas, in particular those likely to transform the world, according to the theory of Frank J. Sulloway. In short, they would be born rebels! If you are the youngest, know that your position within the siblings gives you a precious quality: that of diplomacy. You are, in fact, the one who, within the family circle, knows how to ease tensions and defuse conflicts with finesse. Discreet and measured, you have a rare ability to listen without any judgment.
If you are the youngest of your siblings, differences of opinion do not frighten you; on the contrary, you take care to understand each perspective before dispensing wise advice. However, you only express yourself when the moment seems appropriate, because behind this reserve hides a resolutely assertive and sometimes rebellious nature, pushing you to stand out and make your voice heard with strength and singularity.
“You have a sense of sharing. As an adult, it is very likely that your profession will be of service to others, in the social field, education, health, training, etc. Your siblings often come knocking on your door when they are going through a complex event. Besides, the eldest may have felt jealousy towards you! Always inclined to help your family, which you consider to be a tribe, you like to please during birthdays and end-of-year celebrations,” explains the specialist.
3. The Middle Child Personality
He is the one who naturally takes on the role of intermediary within the siblings. Often perceived as the mediator of the family, the middle child constantly seeks to establish a harmonious balance between all members.
Are you the middle child? From childhood, you have searched for your place for a long time, adjusting with agility to family dynamics. Although you are sometimes withdrawn, this in no way affects your availability to lend an attentive ear, whether to your mother or to a brother looking for support. Will you follow in the footsteps of the eldest, or will you choose the complicity of the youngest? And when faced with trials, to whom will you listen? Will you be guided by the advice of one or the other? This ability to juggle several paths without ever losing sight of the essential makes you a silent but indispensable pillar.
“As an adult, you take care that no one suffers or is ostracized. If a conflict arises, it is important to listen to everyone’s opinions, explains Maureen Richard. Unity and cohesion are essential for you. And that tends to make you tired! One of your qualities? Your ability to adapt: whatever environment you find yourself in, you will be able to cope. Compromise is an integral part of who you are. You are particularly appreciated for your diplomacy and your independence. »
4. The personality of the youngest child
You are the youngest or youngest sibling, occupying this position often described, rightly or wrongly, as “privileged”. Perhaps you have already been given the title of “darling”, a term which reflects the perception, sometimes idealized, of this very singular position. Whether you are the second, third or even fourth child, your role takes on a special dimension. It is not uncommon for your parents to have experienced some difficulty watching you grow up and take flight, as your youth seemed to hold them back in a sweet past. In many families, the youngest child stands out for his spontaneity, his contagious enthusiasm, and this unquenchable thirst to discover the world and its multiple horizons.
“As an adult, you love freedom. You have a mix of desires for sharing, connection to others and personal affirmation. For example, traveling and meeting new people don’t scare you. You love discovering new cultures and going on an immersion trip with locals. It is unlikely that you will have followed in the footsteps of your parents or the eldest sibling. If you tend to distance yourself from your family, you nonetheless feel great affection for those close to you. You are also available when those around you really need you. You are often described as charming or charismatic, you developed this trait to attract attention in a family where responsible roles were already taken. »
Eldest, youngest, youngest: discover what your position among your siblings reveals about you!
To obtain a tailor-made assessment, take the test carried out with clinical psychologist Maureen Richard.