5 sentences heard in your childhood and prevent you from fixing your trauma
Was what I experienced really serious? Am I “a little exaggeration? Is I difficult to manage? These questions are often echoed in the minds of those who grew up in a relaxed family. They doubt about the severity of experienced events.
Robin Koslovitz, a clinical psychologist at the New Jersey Psychological Growth Center, said, “For adults who live a painful experience in their childhood, healing is not only to digest previous experiences, but also to remove doubts . ”
When family members become referee of reality
How to accept that you have experienced trauma when people are going to hurt you who controls the story? This is the question that tries to respond to psychologist Robin Coslovitz’s columns Psychology today“In toxic families, reality is liquid and is re -designed by those who have power,” experts tell. Parents, elder brothers and sisters or even family members such as Aunt and uncle, who have been violent or careless at an emotional level, often become referee of reality, when they agree when they agree Refuying history. “If a child grows up to say what he remembers” never happened “or he is” very sensitive “to feel injured, he is real who is real who is real, deep feeling of confusion about is real To internal
Sherry Franke is the correct example. Her mother, Ruby Franke placed the famous YouTube channel “8 travelers”, counting millions of customers. She staged her six children and her husband, providing controversial educational advice and methods. In his memories, My mother’s house: search for a girl’s freedomSherry condemned the striking contrast between the delightful image depicted on YouTube and the harsh realities of his education. His mother, although celebrated as a model mother, imposed a disciplinary rule on her family and strict control under the guise of moral and religious righteousness. By the time he was arrested for suspicion of misconduct on his children.
These 5 sentences reduce trauma
If Sherry experienced a hell, he achieved something that many “toxic family systems” did not do: a public and undisputed belief that suffered her. This observation shared by Robin Kosalovitz testifies to the importance of trauma recognition to find ways of treatment. But how can we heal its wounds when the reality is distorted? Some adults who have experienced trauma in their childhood describe it as a set of unwritten family rules. According to the clinical psychological, these people have generally heard these insidious sentences from their parents’ figures:
- “It never happened. “
- “You are exaggerated. ,
- «You drama. ,
- “You have to leave the past behind. ,
- “This is ancient history. ,
And if a child manages to present evidence, if he reminds his family something undeniably, the story changes quickly: “Why are you making his full dishes?” “It was falling years ago, falling. “You are very bitter and ruthless. These sentences are a cycle of mental manipulation, refusal and darvo (denial, attack, inverted and aggressive). No matter how clear the facts can seem, the toxic member of the family will never be able to recognize his misdeeds, removing the specialist. What is complex, once again, the path of treatment.