6 tips from a shrinking to react when someone takes you out of your hinges

When an unpleasant comment touches us, the spontaneous response is often nervous or defensive. However, there are simple strategies to re -acquire the control of exchange and avoid climbing. Key? Change the emotional response with curiosity.

By asking a question rather than a response, we reduce stress and we force the other to clarify its words. Here X advice has been shared by psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein in columns Psychology In front of those comments to quiet and respond with assurance that offends you.

1. Take a break before answering

Instead of reacting immediately under the shock of emotion, take a deep breath.

This gives you time to calm your nervous system and avoid an impulse response that you may regret.

2. Ask a question to reverse mobility

Use a sentence like “It’s interesting, can you specify?” “Or” why do you think so? ,

This forces your negotiator to explain his argument and can make him angry with his words.

3. Improvement to understand better

Sometimes what we see as an attack is only a bad formulation. Repeat what you heard in another form: “If I understand correctly, you mean …?” ,

It avoids misunderstanding and explains the intention of another.

4. Transfer conversation to neutral land

If a comment makes you angry, try to turn the subject with a touch of humor or a broad question.

For example, if a colleague criticizes your work, ask him for his opinion on another aspect of the project.

5. Determine limits if necessary

If a person repeats derogatory remarks, keep a clear limit.

Express your inconvenience in peace: “This kind of comment does not suit me, I would like us to stay there.»

6. Practice self-observation

If some criticisms especially touch you, ask you: Why does this comment reach me?

Often our reactions are associated with personal insecurity. Return allows you to better manage our feelings.