These phrases to say to someone who is not doing well and you want to help

For better and for worse. Throughout our lives and throughout our relationships, those close to us may face difficulties and trials. If we would always like to be there for those around us and be their first support whatever happens,words sometimes fail us.

Because we have never been confronted with what he or she is going through and because all our words and gestures seem clumsy, out of place or useless, we stand by and do nothing. To provide them with the help they need, sometimes just a few words are needed to make the difference.

Signs that someone needs you

Just as it’s not always easy to know that we’re not doing well, it can be difficult to spot the signs of a struggle in a loved one. Certain events, such as a bereavement, a family tragedy, a relationship disappointment, a professional disappointment or a health problem, can naturally push you to help this loved one. But it also happens, like any mental difficulty, that no event particularly alerts you. This is when you need to know how to spot the signs of someone who is not doing well.

In an article published for the Daily MailAmerican psychologist Thema Bryant has listed some signs that should tell you that a loved one may be in pain:

• He doesn’t respond to you or systematically takes time to respond when that’s not his habit.
• He talks negatively about himself. Defeatism and despair can show through these little comments.
• He gained or lost weight suddenly.
• He seems completely disorganized and lets clutter accumulate in his home.
• He is very irritable and loses his temper easily, even over things that seem insignificant.

Engage in conversation and help with these simple phrases

But just noticing that someone is not well is not enough to know how to act to help them. “Sometimes we remain silent in difficult situations because we are afraid of saying the wrong thing,” admits Sara Kuburic, psychotherapist, in a publication on Instagram. It is even more difficult to support someone who seems closed to discussion, does not want to ask for help or even avoids moments conducive to communication.

In her post, the psychotherapist listed six sentences to show support and start a conversation :

• If you want to talk, I’m here to listen.
• I want to understand, can you tell me about it?
• Take your time, I’m not in a hurry.
• If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.
• What is the best way for me to support you right now?
• If you’re not ready to talk, I can just stay by your side.