The typical profile of dependent personalities
Because we are social beings, our connections with others build us. In a sense, we are all dependent on those with whom we form more or less deep connections. Of course, we cannot imagine our daily lives without them. Even if, despite everything, we know how to think, decide and act without their approval. Which is not the case for so-called dependent personalities.
For them, the presence of others is vital. To the point of fueling anxiety linked to abandonment and ending up suffocating those around him. To recognize them, simply monitor certain revealing behaviors, identified by psychoanalyst Christian Richomme.
Personality traits of addicts
Dependent Personality Disorder is listed by the MSD Manual. It is characterized by people concerned with taking care of themselves, they become excessively dependent and submissive. But their dependence can take various forms. Hence the importance of paying attention to certain typical personality traits.
People with this disorder often have difficulty making decisions for themselves and fear abandonment or separation. They constantly seek approval and affection from others, and may feel unable to function independently without the assistance or encouragement of another, explains psychoanalyst Christian Richomme. According to the psychoanalyst, dependent personalities share several common traits:
- Excessive needs for attention and support: Dependent people need others to make important decisions for them and constantly seek advice or recommendations.
- Fear of abandonment: They have an irrational fear of being alone and may submit to abusive situations or relationships to avoid abandonment or separation.
- Lack of self-confidence: They tend to doubt their own abilities and lack autonomy, often due to a low sense of competence or self-esteem.
- Difficulty expressing disagreements: For fear of losing the support of others, they have difficulty asserting their opinions or expressing disagreements, which can lead to a tendency to submit, even in situations where they should be defending their interests .
- Submissive and Passive Behavior: People with a dependent personality often take a passive role in relationships and may defer to the decisions and desires of others.
4 behaviors associated with dependent personality
“These people need others to live, to exist, to think. Wrongly, they consider this need as a vital necessity, explains psychoanalyst Saverio Tomasella. They recreate an infantile bond with their spouse, that of the infant with the mother. They believe they owe their lives to each other, which is incongruous in a couple’s relationship. Often, the cause of this belief is linked to a lack of affection or understanding on the part of parents, sometimes to situations of abuse. A child who has experienced a feeling of abandonment or experiences of rejection or insecurity can become emotionally dependent as an adult. » Each of us can also find ourselves in a dependent relationship. “Moments in our lives when we are weakened can cause us to plunge,” says the psychoanalyst. Trauma, an attack, bereavement, old age are often triggers. People who become aware of the possibility of their death sometimes fall into a relationship of emotional dependence overnight. »
The psychoanalyst Christian Richomme lists 4 behaviors linked to the dependent personality:
- Dependency relationships: Addicted people often seek to establish relationships in which they can be cared for, sometimes even choosing partners or friends who are willing to take on a dominant or protective role.
- Excessive submission: They tend to put the needs of others before their own, sometimes to the detriment of their own well-being.
- Tendency to stay in dysfunctional relationships: Out of fear of abandonment, they may stay in abusive or unfulfilling relationships because loneliness seems unbearable.
- Passivity in conflict situations: They have difficulty handling conflict assertively and often prefer to submit or avoid disagreements to maintain harmony.