Coercive control, this phenomenon which prevents women under influence from leaving

When a woman faces domestic violence, a question often arises: “Why doesn’t she leave? “. Behind this question lies a lack of understanding of the dynamics of psychological control.

Coercive control, a mixture of manipulation and domination, can deprive victims of their bearings, their autonomy and even their ability to envisage an outcome, indicated Anna Motz, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist in an article in PsychologyToday. This phenomenon, deeply rooted in the psychology of abusive relationships, deserves particular attention to better understand the obstacles to escape.

Disguised manipulation

Coercive control relies on a series of tactics intended to gain power over others, often imperceptibly. These methods include direct threats, such as committing suicide or harming loved ones, and more subtle violence, such as financial, social or emotional domination. The objective is always the same: to isolate the victim and make them dependent on their attacker.

One of the most powerful weapons of coercive control is gaslighting, a psychological manipulation that causes the victim to doubt their perceptions and reality. By calling her “hysterical” or minimizing her suffering, the abuser ensures that she does not question his dominance. This gradual process weakens the victim, plunging them into a spiral where they end up believing that they deserve the abuse or that they cannot survive without their partner.

Fear of retaliation

Another key factor is fear of retaliation. According to experts, the moment when a woman decides to leave her partner is often the most dangerous. Threats of physical violence or reprisals against children become formidable weapons of control, preventing any attempt to escape.

Economic and social dependence also reinforces this influence. Without financial resources, family support or dependent children, the prospect of leaving can seem insurmountable. Added to this are cultural or religious norms that stigmatize divorce or value submission in marriage, making it even more difficult for women to consider separation.

The cycle of violence

Finally, the cycle of violence plays a crucial role in maintaining control. After episodes of aggression, periods of remorse or reconciliation give the illusion of possible change, nourishing the victim’s hope that their partner can return to being the person they loved. This cycle strengthens the emotional bond, despite the abuse.