Do you want to get into a relationship with this person? Do the “soup test” first

When you first start a relationship, it can be difficult to know if the other person shares your feelings or if you’re just stuck in a situation with no real future. This is where the “soup test” comes in.

This test is based on a thoughtful gesture: offering a home-cooked meal to gauge your partner’s reaction. But is it really a reliable method? Let’s decipher this trend.

The principle of the soup test

Imagined by Ophira Odem, an American artist interviewed by the HuffPostthe “soup test” involves cooking something simple for the person you are dating. The idea is to observe his reaction to this effort. A positive response—gratitude or sincere joy—may indicate a desire to deepen the relationship. On the other hand, a distant or cold response could signal that the other person does not wish to engage further.

Odem says the inspiration came to him after his sister, while bringing soup to a sick partner, saw their relationship abruptly end. This gesture, although seemingly innocuous, revealed an imbalance in their expectations.

A revealing gesture, but not infallible

If the soup test seduces by its simplicity, it is not without limits. Some experts, like psychologist Nicole Saunders, warn against using this kind of gesture as a “test.” A healthy relationship is based on open communication and not indirect actions. “People often sense when they are being tested, and this can be counterproductive”she explains.

The test can, however, make sense if you view it as an authentic act, not a manipulation. It is then a matter of showing the other person that you are ready to invest in the relationship, without expecting a specific result.

When and how to use it?

The timing of this action is crucial. Too soon, it may seem strange. Too late, it might no longer be relevant. Odem suggests using it after several dates, when you’re starting to consider commitment but still have doubts. If you have been together for months, a clear dialogue about your expectations will be more appropriate.

However, be careful with interpretations. A rejection of the “soup test” does not always mean that the other person is not interested. Maybe he just doesn’t like the soup, or he feels uncomfortable with gestures that are too intimate.