Are you still attracted to the wrong people? Here is the main reason according to a psychologist
Have you broken up with a toxic partner only to find yourself with someone who has the same faults? You are not alone.
According to Jeffrey Bernstein, psychologist interviewed by PsychologyTodaythis repetitive pattern often stems from emotional wounds or biased perceptions. But understanding these mechanisms is essential to breaking the cycle and finally finding a fulfilling relationship.
The attraction to the familiar
Our first connections profoundly shape our expectations of love. If you grew up with distant or critical parents, you might subconsciously seek out partners who emulate these traits. Even though this dynamic is painful, it can paradoxically seem normal.
Tip: Identify these recurring patterns and dare to explore healthier relationships, even if they seem less exciting.
Confusing chemistry and compatibility
The initial emotional intensity can mask deep incompatibilities. This “spark” can give the illusion of lasting love, but it often fades, revealing fundamental differences.
Tip: Take a step back to assess whether your values and goals truly align with those of your partner.
Wanting to repair the other
If you’re naturally empathetic, you might be attracted to partners who are struggling. But in trying to “save” them, you risk sacrificing your own needs.
Tip: Look for partners who are already emotionally balanced and focus on your own well-being.
Not believing yourself worthy of a healthy relationship
A lack of self-confidence can push you to accept disrespectful behavior, convinced that you do not deserve better. This misperception can be fueled by past trauma or failures.
Tip: Work on your self-esteem and remember that you deserve a relationship based on mutual respect and sincere love.