These 5 behaviors are signs of untreated attachment trauma

It is possible to suffer from attachment trauma without being aware of it, if it is not identified, it is difficult to work on or even treat it, so it is possible to adopt behaviors that seem “natural” to us, without questioning them, even if they are linked to the cause.

If you have many of the behaviors listed below, it may be appropriate to seek help from mental health professionals. Starting with the hypothesis that you may be concerned about the topic can already be a first step towards getting rid of some of these motivated behaviors that are not really related to you.

Attachment trauma: many causes at play

First, let’s remember what attachment trauma covers. These are all types of trauma that occur at specific stages of a child’s development. The most common form of this type of trauma is found at the attachment level. When a child’s feelings of predictability, security, and confidence have been damaged. There can be many reasons.

Among them, we can cite the question of abuse, neglect or even lack of attention or care linked to various factors on the part of a loved one, a parent. People affected by untreated attachment trauma regularly report physical or psychological behaviors or symptoms that affect them on a daily basis. For example, that may lead them to make certain choices in terms of relationships. And those aren’t always what’s best for them. Thus there will be common signs that we do not always pay attention to. Psychology therapist Anne Tanasugarn lists five in an article psychology today,

1. Chronic pain

Some unexplained physical pain may originate from trauma during childhood. On the other hand, research on the topic establishes a connection between fibromyalgia symptoms and the consequences of attachment trauma, especially (but not only) physical abuse.

There are many examples of this, it could be headaches, gastrointestinal disorders, insomnia, muscle pain, back pain, chest pain or even chronic fatigue. The physical manifestations of trauma can actually take many forms.

2. Latent psychological symptoms

It is very common for people who have suffered attachment trauma to experience obsessive-compulsive behavior, rapid mood changes, irritability, anger problems, depression, emotional paralysis or severe anxiety in adulthood.

These symptoms, mild or severe depending on the case, often appear together and may occur intermittently throughout the day, with moments of peace and calm interrupted by feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety. Individuals who suffer from it minimize or rationalize these symptoms, or even turn to addictions to numb their trauma.

3. Self-sabotage

The high emotional sensitivity caused by attachment trauma can trigger a cycle of sabotage (of others, then of oneself). The cycle often begins by attacking others, shutting out, or engaging in impulsive (self-defeating) behavior, which then leads to feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing (and therefore self-sabotage).

People who have experienced attachment trauma are not aware of their injuries. Without knowingly doing so, they “test” or “question” people’s emotional investment in their lives, then push them away out of self-preservation and fear of abandonment. Because of this impulsivity, they often make poor choices.

4. Protection against shock

This type of behavior is usually associated with emotional paralysis, avoidance, and escapism, which involves distracting from painful memories or pain. But this type of behavior is problematic. First, it perpetuates an escape pattern that does not allow the person to process traumatic pain in a healthy way.

Second, the more time passes, the more “distractions” are needed to keep the pain from surfacing. Trauma inhibition manifests in compulsive behaviors such as drug addiction or alcoholism, eating disorders, sports, work or screen addiction.

5. Strong need for control

Excessive feelings of helplessness in childhood often manifest as overcontrol in adulthood. Many people who develop control problems as adults were actually children who felt helpless and unsafe. They may have grown up with overly authoritarian parents who controlled everything, denied their autonomy, and made very strict demands and expectations of them.

They may also have been neglected as young children and left to fend for themselves. As adults, they want to control everything that happens in their lives to have a sense of order or to relieve their anxiety or fears.