12 essential questions to ask your partner before considering marriage
When you want to connect with your partner in some way or the other, it seems important to know each other well. Spending time together, exploring each other, or even making memories together are among the elements that help improve. However, it is possible. During the relationship we forget some questions – willingly or not – so as not to risk bursting our bubble, however, it seems necessary to address some topics beforehand in order to move forward with desires and projects. General issues come into focus, as a matter of priority, it happens that we forget an important topic related to the future of the couple and said projects.
Among them, money tops the list of topics that cannot be avoided, especially when planning joint shopping, baby projects or even a wedding. There is an important financial dimension to all aspects of it, which is why it seems important to discuss financial issues with your spouse. Jeff Guenther, the therapist behind the “Therapy Jeff” account on Instagram, explains that “money can often be the elephant in the room for couples.” For them, being on the same financial wavelength is fundamental to avoid arguments and build a solid future together, which is why we need to be able to face it together. To help you, he has listed 12 questions to help you take stock of your partner before considering marrying him.
1. How much money do you want to earn annually?
It is essential to discuss your financial expectations as a couple. This may include income, savings and spending goals. Having a clear view of everyone’s financial aspirations will help you work together to achieve them.
2. Do we agree on financial limits?
Such as lending money to extended family and friends. The question of financial limit is important. It is not only about how you manage your money, but also how you manage finances in relation to your extended family and friends. Do you agree on the amount of money to be loaned and the limits that will be established?
3. How will we manage the couple dynamic if you earn more than me (or vice versa)?
If one of you earns significantly more than the other, it is important to discuss how you will manage your finances. This can affect the balance of power in the relationship, which deserves an honest and open conversation.
4. What do you think about my attitude towards money?
And also: Do you understand the reasons for my financial habits and emotions? Understanding your partner’s financial beliefs and habits is essential to building a healthy relationship. Make sure you openly discuss how you feel about money and understand the underlying reasons for your financial behavior.
5. And We’re getting divorced, are we on the same level financially?
Do we both understand the legal implications of dividing our money and property in a divorce, and are we comfortable with those terms? It is important to be aware of the legal implications of managing your finances as a couple, including what happens if you separate. This can be a difficult conversation, but it is necessary to avoid potential problems in the future.
6. to what Would you like our savings plan to look like this?
Savings plans are essential to preparing for a stable financial future. Discuss how you want to save, for whom, and at what pace.
7. will we have A budget and how will it be determined?
Managing a budget is an important part of a healthy financial relationship. Discuss setting up a budget and how you’ll decide to organize it.
8. do you like Spend more money on things or experiences?
It is important to understand each person’s spending preferences. Discuss your preferences, whether it’s for material goods or experiences.
9. will we have Two individual accounts or one joint account?
The question of bank accounts is important. Discuss the best option for your situation, whether an individual account, a joint account, or both.
10. Comment Can each of us create value in this relationship beyond earning income?
The value in a relationship goes beyond the financial aspect. Discuss how both of you can contribute to the relationship in meaningful ways outside of the financial realm.
11. What Do we have financial goals for retirement?
Are you planning to retire at age 65? 70? 55? Retirement is a major financial goal. Discuss your retirement aspirations, the age you plan to retire at, and how you plan to finance those years.
12. how much Do you count? Give to charity?
Finally, discuss your commitment to the charity. Understanding each other’s values when it comes to charitable giving will help you work together to support the causes you care about.
Far from being absolute or mandatory, these questions should be seen as an opportunity for everyone to consider strong and important topics. The answers to these questions can, in fact, affect the couple’s dynamics. Instead of avoiding them, it is better to think about them in advance to be able to discuss them and thus avoid possible conflicts that may arise when you realize that you had different aspirations, those Without discussing.