Couple: the 3 reasons for breaking up long relationships, according to a therapist

In an era where the average duration of romantic relationships, particularly among younger generations, does not often exceed four years, the question of the sustainability of long relationships inevitably arises.

Why do so many couples who have shared their lives for years decide to separate? Jeff Guenther, American therapist based in Portland and known as TherapyJeff on the social network TikTok, sheds valuable light on this subject.

1. The loss of little touches

When a relationship becomes long-term, it can happen that the little touches that bring the two partners together tend to fade. Compliments are no longer there, flirting dwindles, and romantic dates are rare, but it is these small signs of affection that contribute to the development of the couple.

Jeff Guenther emphasizes that “quality time” is essential to creating a true connection. It’s about sharing activities, discussing or simply spending time together outside of the constraints of everyday life. When the relationship is reduced to simple cohabitation, distance can set in insidiously.

2. Unresolved conflicts

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. However, when these disagreements are left unaddressed and they turn into lasting conflicts, that’s when problems arise. Couples who find themselves trapped in a cycle of endless conflict risk seeing their relationship deteriorate.

“The same problems keep coming back, couples can’t find solutions,” explains Jeff Guenther. Resentment, contempt, and emotional exhaustion are often the consequences of unresolved conflicts. These emotions can further inflame disagreements, underlines the expert.

3. Paths that diverge

Everyone evolves over time. Ideally, this development should be complementary to that of one’s partner. However, the reality is sometimes quite different. Interests, beliefs, and needs occasionally move in directions inconsistent with those of one’s partner.

The therapist reminds that this phenomenon is not necessarily the fault of one person or the other, and it may be impossible to predict. Individual developments can lead to differences that become insurmountable for the couple.