I am a psychologist and this is the question I am asked most often when people meet me

When I talk, in a private context, about working as a psychologist, there is always someone who asks me, half-amused and half-serious: “Are you going to analyze me if I speak?” .

Although this question may seem trivial, it reveals a common misconception: psychologists spend their time analyzing those around them, regardless of the context. Let’s clear up this misunderstanding.

“Are you going to analyze me when I talk?”

As a mental health professional, I use specific skills and techniques in a therapeutic setting, with people who have specifically asked for my help and who pay me for it: patients. This clinical listening requires a posture which is not reduced to a rapid and haphazard interpretation of the verbal and non-verbal of my interlocutor. It requires intensive and energy-consuming psychological and physical mobilization that is often underestimated; it is therefore logical that a psychologist does not undertake this in a private context. However, I understand that some people feel uncomfortable thinking that they might be observed or judged.

In reality, this idea is part of the fantasy of omniscience that is sometimes attributed to us. However, psychologists do not possess supernatural powers allowing them to read minds or predict the future. This belief can lead to a suspicious and defensive attitude, highlighted by the question: “Are you going to analyze me when I speak?”, often followed by the person asking the question stopping speaking.

I would like to point out that analyzing someone without their consent and outside of a professional setting would not only be intrusive, but unethical. My role as a psychologist is clearly delimited: I work with my patients in a confidential environment, with their consent and with a therapeutic objective.

I leave my psychologist hat at the office

Outside of my office, whether with relatives or newly met people, I am not “working”: I do not put on my psychologist hat. My goal is to enjoy conversations and exchanges, like everyone else, without analyzing, interpreting and without professional ulterior motives.

Of course, as psychologists we have skills of observation, analysis and interpretation. Which can influence our way of understanding certain situations, dynamics and personalities or of approaching various issues. However, this does not mean that we constantly seek to analyze or “get into the heads” of our interlocutors.

So, have no fear, we are not trying to dissect your thoughts, do not want to work overtime and want, just like you, to enjoy the present moment, without analysis or judgment!