If you want to maintain your children’s confidence then avoid these phrases

Every parent has their own aspirations for their child, but some ambitions are more common than others. A healthy, happy child who feels good about himself… these are criteria that will satisfy most parents.

As adults, we can all remember little attitudes or phrases that took part. To damage our confidenceWhether it’s about our personality, our abilities or even our looks, there are many comments we would have made without growing up. To avoid repeating the same mistakes with our children, certain phrases should be removed from your conversations with them.

phrases to avoid

“The way we talk to young children is the way they talk to themselves,” warns Lily Howard Scott, teacher, former teacher and author of the book. words that shape usnear cnbcAnd it is not because the child is very young, that he can barely express himself and that he does not react to all your comments, that he does not assimilate them. Children, from a very young age, absorb whatever you tell them.

While it goes without saying that direct criticism of their appearance or personality should be avoided, there are also phrases that may seem harmless, but are actually damaging to their self-confidence:

• Comments that link a child’s character to his or her actions : A child’s behavior is not a sufficient basis for making generalizations about his personality. For example, the expert gives the example, instead of telling him that he was irresponsible, tell him that his decision was irresponsible.
• Praise the child for being like you : While it’s obvious that it’s enjoyable to see your child develop some of the same interests or character traits as you, this intended rewarding comparison can create the idea that your love is based on the fact that he or she is an extension of you.
• Recognize your success more than your work : “Avoid language that emphasizes product rather than process,” recommends Lilly Howard Scott. This way, you focus not only on the result but also on the effort and you avoid displaying failure.

Behaviors to be adopted to boost children’s self-confidence

Although you try as hard as you can to avoid hurting your children’s self-confidence, you can’t stop others from making their own contributions. Confronting the behavior of the adults and children around you is your only means of acting and to prepare your child,

In a column published on GuardianEmily Edlin, clinical psychologist, suggests two habits to adopt to boost self-confidence:

• Appreciate specific qualities and behaviors: their creativity, their kindness, their listening skills, their perseverance. Take advantage of opportunities to make him aware of his value and his strengths. On the other hand, remember that when you congratulate your child, it is important to be selective and honest, she reminds.
• Celebrate differences in others: “Children become more aware of what makes them different from others,” says Emily Edlin. So you can bring into your daily conversations that it’s really cool that everyone is unique. ,