“My obsession with Christmas cost me the man of my life”

“I have always loved Christmas. There are many of us who share this passion. Let’s say that for me this party takes up a little more space. When I was a child, Christmas was not a celebration but THE family celebration par excellence where everyone tried hard. It was the momentum of all generations and we all found ourselves together around a huge table which sometimes exceeded 20 guests. Christmas has always been great.

Santa Claus knew it because unlike my comrades, this great gentleman came every year to bring us our presents in the flesh. I never had the leisure to believe that we could wake up and discover presents under the tree. At our house, he would come around 7 p.m., sometimes 8 p.m. to drop off the gifts. So I felt privileged. Until the day I had to enter into the big deception for my little cousins. I was an only child. My parents considered Christmas to be a time of abundance. There had to be a mountain of gifts for each child. So much so that they dedicated themselves for several years in a row to buying a few additional large gifts for my cousin of the same age, whose parents did not have the same delusions of grandeur on the subject of gifts.

“From November, my Christmas playlist is back in action”

As I grew up, I continued to be spoiled and spoiled in turn, taking over from the intoxication of Christmas which was gaining on me earlier and earlier. At home, it’s almost sickly: as soon as Halloween is over, I put myself into Christmas mode without restraint. It’s stronger than me, yes, I feel festive and I want to celebrate the end of the year with a lot of madness. My bank account hates Christmas.

I can’t help but treat myself to new decorations every year, Christmas sweaters, chocolates of course, and other marketing symbols. From November 2, my Christmas playlist is back in action, Mariah Carey takes over my soul and becomes my virtual best friend! It’s also a time when I organize dinners with my friends. I have this need to celebrate Christmas to feel happy. When they arrive at my house, my dearest friends are happy to find my little annual madness and like to compare my decoration to that of the previous year, each one giving their little comment! “Lucie’s Christmas dinner is something”* says my best friend when she talks about it to those around her.

“I’m single and it saddens me to be alone at Christmas”

November is also usually the time when I launch into the marathon of Christmas films which make me feel really good! I know the ending before even playing the opening credits, but it’s magical: the magical decorations in small snowy villages, the few recognizable musical notes that set up the plot… I love everything about it. these love stories that always end so well. Around the age of 25, these films got to my head a little: I’m single and it makes me sad to be alone as Christmas approaches.

I realize that this sadness has several reasons: The first is that being single at Christmas means also being single for the New Year and that is something that I hate above all else. The New Year, for me, is always stressful: Not only do you have to find someone to celebrate it with, and when you’re in a relationship, it’s easier to do. But in addition, I am personally in the middle of a post-Christmas comedown and the New Year is the symbol for me of the official end of the festivities, which makes me nervous and sad at the same time and which puts pressure on me to succeed at all costs. party. The second reason, and this one will take me several years to admit, is that Christmas is the essential step in taking stock of the family: My grandparents try to ask all the questions, even the annoying ones. . You have to show yourself in your best light, and there is no question of admitting that you are unhappy not to find the man of your life.

“Christmas movies didn’t do me all good”

Let’s return to Christmas films: I love them passionately but they haven’t done me all good. The year I turned 25, I believe without lying that I watched more than 20. At each outcome, I feel intense joy. Although I know that Santa Claus does not exist, that the magic of Christmas is therefore not a miracle but a simple plot argument which puts Andy, a workaholic advertising man, and Tom, a carpenter, who came to his native village to repair the house, on the same path. old barn of his deceased father… Nothing helps, I believe it at the moment and this belief becomes a little debilitating because when I close my tablet on the happy end from Andy and Tom, my loneliness is twice as strong.

One evening, filled with the hope of also being entitled to a happy endI go out with friends and I meet a smiling young boy. We have a good time full of seduction and anecdotes about our lives. We promise to see each other again soon. I return home on cloud nine and my imagination launches me into an infinite projection of life together with this charming stranger. We write messages to each other for several days, convinced that we are made for each other. The magic of Christmas is underway!

“I don’t really like your Christmas thing”

I invite him to dinner at my place. I am a good cook, I find us intimate enough to take this step. As the scheduled time approaches, I take care of my preparations, my Christmas decoration is perfect. I am happy and proud to prepare this dinner for him!

However, upon arriving at my house, my guest was somewhat taken aback. He had never seen so many Christmas decorations in such a small apartment. Instead of maintaining that big smile with which he had said hello to me when I arrived, he gave me a closed face. I was so disappointed, nothing was happening like at the bar. He seemed somewhere else, I was laughing in the wind. He used the excuse of an evening with friends to leave my house quite early without even a kiss. For any explanation, I received a message explaining to me that it was not going to do it because “I don’t really like your thing with Christmas. I think we’re too different after all.” This is how I thought I was missing out on the man of my life because of Christmas.

« I decided to detox from Christmas romances »

I had to be scooped up with a spoon. I was shocked because I never thought that my passion for Christmas would get me into such trouble. After several evenings of questioning, I concluded that this boy was not worthy of my interest if a passion that was certainly immense but only lasted one month a year constituted a blockage for him.

I still naturally tried to take a step back from all that: there was no question of me starting to hate Christmas but I decided to learn to moderate my passion and above all to detoxify myself from the romances of Christmas in times when I was feeling a little romantically distressed. I had to learn to love real life, imperfect, chaotic, to have the right to a real happy end.

Today I have a 4 year old child and a wonderful husband. He didn’t like Christmas before he met me. As the child of a divorcee, this celebration reminded him of the imperfection of his own family. We learned to love him together: him with serenity, me with moderation. Of course, I still secretly watch Christmas films in November… but I’m no longer fooled! Real life is more hectic but much less silly! »

*The first name has been changed.