Prepare the meal, organize your time, think about gifts: 3 tips to better manage the mental load of Christmas

At the start of December and with Christmas approaching, are you more won over by the magic of Christmas or overwhelmed by stress? If the collective imagination associates the end of the year with festivities, reunions and joy, it is not always possible to leave plenty of room for the enthusiasm of the end-of-year celebrations. And for good reason, for many, Christmas is also a source of stress.

Knowing how to organize your time as a family, thinking of a meal that will delight everyone’s taste buds, offering the gift that will please, all while sometimes being subject to a tight budget… There is something to dread this last calendar month. In 2023, theAmerican Psychological Association revealed the results of a survey conducted by The Harris Poll among 2,061 Americans in which 89% of respondents felt joyful but overwhelmed during the holiday periods. Two out of five adults said they saw their stress increase during this period compared to other times of the year. To give Christmas some of its magic again, there are several tips to apply to yourself before letting yourself caught in the whirlwind of the holidays.

Get rid of perfectionism

“We put a lot of expectations into this day because it only happens once a year, that we see people we rarely see again,” recognizes Marine Colombel, psychiatrist. But it is also these high expectations that predispose us to perfectionism which in turn risks to feed our stress. By wanting to mark the occasion and for everything to take place under the best auspices, we focus on details which “no longer correspond to what is real and accessible”.

As soon as you feel yourself slipping into one-upmanship by looking for yet another gift or adding a new preparation for dinner, remember what is essential and what is not. Try to leave some free space so that the party can develop as it is, says the psychiatrist. “It’s good to have a certain level of expectations because it’s Christmas, we want to eat well, we want to get together, but we have to leave ourselves alone and leave room for the impromptu” she adds.

Prioritize memories

Without much surprise, one of the keys to better understanding Christmas is to anticipate. Here, it is not only a question of better organizing our time and avoiding last minute stress, but also of focusing our attention on the essential: the memory. For example, by anticipating meal preparation (and delegating), you will free up more time so you can be with everyone at the table. “The goal is to spend time together and enjoy the moment,” recalls the expert. And this also applies to the pressure associated with the meal. Rather than thinking about the quantity or the nobility of the products, focus on sensoriality. “What makes memories are taste and smell. The smell is extremely linked to everything that will encode good memories,” she says, taking the example of the thirteen desserts of the Provençal tradition, less prestigious than a technical log, but more imbued in memory.

A logic that also applies to gifts. “The gift must say something about the person who gives it,” says the psychiatrist. The gift is a bond between the giver and the receiver. What is important is not so much the gift as it is the memory imprint it brings. »

Cultivate your own tradition

“It’s a time of year when we’re going to open all the old chests in the attic,” Marine Colombel also recalls. Meeting people we don’t see often brings back memories, we want to talk about it together or not. » For many, celebrating Christmas is a question of tradition rather than worship. Because past Christmases are ingrained in our memory, the pressure to mark the next one for years to come is all the more intense.

If rituals are also part of what comforts us, reassures us and cultivate the charm of Christmas, it is also important to keep in mind that we can allow ourselves to sort things out. “When rituals do us good and give us happiness, it’s important to keep them. On the other hand, you should not hesitate to talk about stressful and oppressive rituals and to put an end to them,” recommends the expert. Obligations and the weight of traditions contribute greatly to the stress we may feel as the holidays approach. “What makes Christmas difficult is the fixed aspect,” she believes. We don’t always realize it, but there are implicit rituals. This person will make this cake, we eat at this time, we will start the meal with this… All these rituals can become extremely heavy. » Keeping the essentials and eliminating what becomes too cumbersome over the years is one of the keys to approaching the period with a light mind.