The 6 typical sentences pronounced by manipulators

Have you ever had the feeling that someone was able to make you doubt yourself despite your certainties? Gaslighting is a handling method commonly seen in toxic relationships. The phrase is derived from the play Gaslight (1938). Signed by Patrick Hamilton, it tells the story of a manipulative husband trying to convince his wife that she is losing her mind, to distract her from his criminal activities.

And, almost a hundred years after the play that gave it its name, this psychological strategy continues to be used. It manifests itself in insidious phrases that call into question the reality and perceptions of the victim. The goal is to gain and maintain control and influence in the relationship. It is crucial to pay attention to certain toxic phrases, as they can be indicators of an attempt to manipulate you. If we know it more in the couple, it is also possible to observe it in other contexts (friendly, professional, etc.).

“That never happened”

The pure and simple negation of events or lived experiences is a powerful weapon of gaslighting.

By denying reality, your partner undermines your confidence in your own memories and perceptions. The doubt sown causes you to question your memory, thus reinforcing the dependence on the abuser.

“You’re too sensitive.”

By minimizing your emotions and concerns, he seeks to make you hesitate, destabilizing you and reducing your ability to perceive the situation as it really is.

Unsure of your emotions, you tolerate more abusive behavior, thus contributing to the perpetuation of the toxic relationship.

“You’re crazy – and others think so too”

Madness often comes up in the statements made by manipulators.

They prey on their victim’s mental health in order to discredit them in the eyes of others, thereby further isolating them and preventing them from seeking support.

“You have a very bad memory”

If we happen to forget things from time to time, questioning the victim’s memory is a key element of gaslighting.

With this sentence, he makes you question yourself and lowers your confidence.

“I’m sorry you think I hurt you.”

This seemingly compassionate sentence actually hides an attempt to deflect responsibility from the aggressor.

By shifting the blame onto you for having misinterpreted the situation, the gaslighter pushes you to question yourself again. This guilt gives rise to a feeling of doubt.

“You should have known how I would react.”

He blames you for his own reaction and absolves himself of any guilt.

You find yourself in a position where you believe that you could have foreseen the negative consequences of his actions and therefore anticipated the events. He thus places the blame on you.