This method will help you gain perspective on your life

Have you ever dived into a project only to realize (often too late) that you were missing an overview that would likely have been helpful? Whether in work, in our relationships, in our life choices or in our hectic daily life, it is sometimes useful to take a little distance to give ourselves new impetus.

“I think that, in general, we sometimes get too wrapped up in ourselves. We internalize our thoughts and feelings and lose sight of our real behaviors,” says Gilly Kahn, clinical psychologist, for Stylist. When you feel that you are slipping, that you no longer have creativity, energy or that you are ruminating on certain emotions, take a step back from your life may be the solution.

The benefits of hindsight

We often wrongly think that taking a break or withdrawing from a situation will work against us. But whether in our professional life or in our personal life, it can be more beneficial than we think. “Taking a step back or stepping back can be a viable choice, and many who choose it and learn from it end up considering it one of the most important turning points (for the better) in their career,” says Beverly. Kaye, career development specialist, for Forbes. Taking a step back in professional life means giving ourselves the opportunity to move away from what is expected of us to take stock of what we want for ourselves.

From a personal point of view, hindsight can also be beneficial, especially with regard to our relationships. In a study published in 2013, researchers tested the hypothesis that taking a step back from conflicts helped preserve marriage. In this research, scientists followed 120 couples for two years, assessing the quality of their marital relationship every four months. At each stage, they had to describe the most disagreement encountered during the previous period. Half of the couples also had to describe the situation from a distance, as if a third person was witnessing the conflict. From the second year of the study, the two groups differ in terms of marital quality. The group without a “distanced perspective” continues on the same downward trajectory typical of marital quality, while the group that had to take a step back begins to show a plateauing or stabilization effect. So taking a step back is helpful in many ways.

Become your own narrator

“Every time I feel blocked in my creative flow or in an uncomfortable emotion, I take a step back as if I were having an out-of-body experience,” says Gilly Kahn. To take the necessary step back, the psychologist invites you to narrate one’s thoughts and behaviors from a third-person omniscient point of view “You should take the time to write about yourself, either immediately in the present moment or while thinking about a problem you have encountered more.” early in the day, she explains. While taking this outside perspective, strive to observe your thoughts, feelings and behaviors, without judgment.

This activity combines the positive effects of writing and taking a step back. “It’s actually a mindfulness strategy that is interwoven into creative writing,” she explains. Mindfulness is about noticing what is around you and what is within you, using your senses objectively and without judgment. » Practicing mindfulness has many beneficial effects on mental health, including improving concentration, relationship satisfaction, self-compassion, emotion regulation and, more generally, quality of life.