This strategy should be adopted when someone has let you down (without taking revenge).

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This strategy should be adopted when someone has let you down (without taking revenge).

By shaping our environment, we try as much as possible to create people who value us, who push us forward and take us to the top. Unfortunately, we don’t always have the chance to choose all the people whose paths we will cross. And some are less intentional than you might think.

It is not unusual, especially in a professional context where competition can be tough, to feel despised by others. But a new study suggests we may be tempted to do the same and humiliate ourselves or plot personal revenge another point of view,

Recognizing Someone Who Is Trying to Bring You Down

Of course, we all sometimes act clumsyWithout meaning to, we can sometimes say things that hurt, make someone feel guilty, or humiliate. The important thing is still to realize it and take responsibility by apologizing and correcting your mistake. But, in some people, there may be a genuine desire to put others down, motivated by a need to feel superior or by unfounded assumptions. When we talk about attitudes that demean and denigrate others, we are referring to behavior that aims to “impair, over time, the ability to establish and maintain positive interpersonal relationships, work, “to hinder one’s ability to succeed and enjoy a good reputation.” Researchers of a study published in Journal of Organizational Behavior and took possession life hacker,

To recognize someone who is trying to tear you down, pay attention to these signs:

  • She also humiliates others.
  • You feel protective around him.
  • She takes decisions.
  • She gives compliments that are not really compliments.
  • She makes herself appear supportive of you by pretending that she cares about you.
  • It distracts you from your goal.

choose best answer

To find the best response to this type of behavior, researchers from the Instituto Universitario de Lisboa conducted research published in. Journal of Occupational and Organizational PsychologyTo do this, researchers recruited a sample of 229 employees with an average age of 36 who completed surveys three times over a one-month period. The researchers asked them how they were humiliated and if they had forgiven themIn addition, negative affect, that is, how they felt emotionally (fear, nervousness, irritability, hostility, irritation, discomfort) was measured. As well as somatic consequences, that is, physical consequences (sleep problems, headaches, back pain, fatigue, lack of energy).

The results showed that workers who were more humiliated had higher levels of negative affect, resulting in somatization. The only strategy that allowed Forgiveness was to neutralize these effectsThe researchers’ hypothesis is that “forgiveness helps overcome debilitating thoughts and feelings resulting from interpersonal hurt,” reports Susan Cross Whitbourne, a clinical psychologist. psychology todayIn contrast, revenge does not neutralize these negative consequences, but only serves to increase or intensify negative emotions.