These signs are time to let go in your life
Let go! Let us tell you, the expression has caught on a bit now. So much so that it becomes a contradictory order. But at the same time, how can we bring flexibility into our saturated lives?
the beatles sang let it goLike an ode to letting go, a direct refrain from philosophy’s greatest wisdom. It’s nothing, mastering the art of letting go. Perhaps you do this unconsciously to console a loved one, suggesting that they let themselves go to calm down, to let go of forgetting. But do you apply it daily? And finally, can we really get there at a time when our emotions are tested, our attention is hyper-stretched and our relationships are hyperconnected… In any case, we can refocus on ourselves. You can learn to focus and identify your own blockages. Philosopher Nathalie Depraz helps us define it and therapist Sarah Kubrick teaches us this way of living through four golden rules to adopt on a daily basis.
letting go without losing control
New year, new breath: letting go. Why do we cling so much to something that doesn’t suit us? How painful it is to take a step back, ruled by our emotions! When we talk about letting go, we tend to assume that we have to let go of everything or no longer have control over anything. No, letting go is a more subtle concept, a way of life that can be adopted without fear.
in his work of the stability of the wiseSeneca tells the story of a general in the middle of battle who, in the face of adversity, would develop a form of control based on letting go. It invites us to redefine our priorities and discard everything else, all the things that fatally poison our existence. Letting go means freeing yourself from all kinds of dissatisfaction and the inhibitions that come with it, which is fed by this Western illusion that wants us all to be perfect. This practice allows us to re-focus on ourselves and utilize the resources that are already hidden within us.
on the need to let go
Release the pressure at your own pace and solely for your own well-being. This new habit allows you to achieve a mastery that emerges from your posture before the world, from your ability to be alone with yourself, one of the most important signs of maturity, as Winnicott said, in fact. The fear of being alone is a fundamental insecurity. “The ability to be alone is the ability to be alone,” explained philosopher Nathalie Depraz to our reporter Helen Fresnel. It is the learning of this control that leads to educated, practiced awareness of our inner openness. Obviously it is not something innate that we manage to do immediately and, most of the time, we will still be thrown into things that do not depend on us and that will cause us suffering.”
But in our society where everything invites us to control, sometimes giving in to relaxation becomes a necessity, especially at work, experts point out. “In older societies, people worked all the time, but their lifestyles were much more balanced: production activity did not take place in the private sector. There was no teleworking. It was essentially a rural world governed by night and day. When it was daylight we went to sleep. Today we are cut off from nature, broken from its cycle. Work no longer determines our life, our life is now determined by work. This is undoubtedly the major problem of our society: this obsession with work. We have become so conditioned that we don’t even realize it anymore. “, she laments.
If you don’t adopt these behaviors you don’t let go
When you learn to let go, you realize that all the keys are already within you. Supporting life situations and daily behaviors, American therapist Sarah Kurubik teaches us to master the art of letting go. If you don’t adopt these habits on a daily basis, it’s a safe bet that it’s time to finally take these steps to relieve the pressure:
- Don’t wait to end a relationship you don’t like.
- Give yourself permission to move forward.
- Rewrite the story we tell ourselves.
- Learn to feel discomfort without paying attention to it and paradoxically find shelter in it.