What is Penny Dating, this toxic practice that establishes psychological control?
In love, we all have established standards that we apply in our search for the ideal partner. Developed through experiences and as we mature, these standards lead us to seek that which will satisfy us, do good and flourish both in our relationship and as an individual. But have you ever lost sight of your standards? Caught reducing?
This is the whole concept of “money dating”. The term refers to the behavior of a person who gradually reduces effort and attention in the relationship after initially investing significantly in winning the other’s heart. This method, described by influencer Erica Tham on TikTok, is based on the idea of reducing the effort so that the partner gets used to it and becomes satisfied with less money, to the extent that he or she is grateful for the crumbs.
sense of improvement
Originally, this trend was linked to the concept of “love bombing”, another toxic habit of seduction, where a partner is bombarded with affection at the beginning of a relationship for the purpose of manipulation. “Penny Dating” takes this principle but directs it toward gradually narrowing the focus. Erica Tham uses the metaphor of a piggy bank to explain her concept.
Penny dating author partner gives 100 in the beginning. He then reduces it to 90 and then increases the effort slightly (to 95) to create a false impression of improvement. Instead of feeling a loss, the targeted person perceives it as a gain, while in reality they still receive less than they started with.
Rejoice in the Minimal, Penny Dating Hint
If you notice that your partner’s effort and attention have decreased over time for no apparent reason or that they alternate between periods of intense attention and affection and moments of isolation or neglect, be careful. You may be a victim of penny dating.
Alternatively, if you begin to feel overly grateful for small gestures of affection in a way that you didn’t before, it may be helpful to question the relationship. In fact, the victim of this behavior is constantly waiting to find that person from the beginning and is satisfied with getting a little attention from the smallest phrase or compliment that someone wants to give them.
It’s important to know your worth
The “money dating” method is clearly manipulative. The effect of this method is to lower the partner’s self-esteem, gradually accustoming him to receiving less attention and affection, until minimal effort is considered sufficient or even extraordinary. The victim may begin to doubt their worth and attractiveness, especially if they feel that their partner’s effort and attention is decreasing for no apparent reason.
When faced with this type of behavior, it becomes important to know your own worth. Self-esteem is essential to maintaining healthy self-esteem and setting your boundaries.