Why do people forget their friends in relationships? This study gives us the answer
Who has never noticed that a friend, after getting into a relationship, suddenly becomes less available? If love fills our days with a whirlwind of passion and emotion, it also empties a part of our social circle.
A study conducted by researchers d’oxford Confirms many people’s suspicions: an intense romantic relationship can push important friendships into the background. But why does the arrival of a partner push our friends outwards?
disturbed social balance
Researchers at the University of Oxford, led by Professor Robin Dunbar, studied the dynamics of social circles when love enters our lives. Their study shows that a person typically has a “hard core” of five close relationships: the people we see regularly and those we contact when needed.
However, the arrival of a new partner reduces this circle to four. In fact, the emotional energy invested in a new relationship often leads to the neglect of two other relationships, whether friends or family members.
Why does love take up so much space?
This phenomenon is explained by the need to maintain strong emotional intimacy with one’s partner. ,The intensity of a relationship largely depends on the frequency of interaction“, explains Professor Dunbar, co-author of the study.
Spending less time with friends leads to breakdown of emotional bonds, which ultimately pushes these relationships to a lower rung in our social hierarchy.
An unavoidable relational cost?
The numbers confirm a universal reality: We have a limited ability to manage our social networks. According to Dunbar, we may have about 150 relationships in total, but only four to six take center stage in our daily lives.
The limits of this capacity are realized when a new partner joins. The result: a friend and a family member, less often solicited, find themselves excluded from the intimate circle.
How to maintain balance?
Although the arrival of a partner is a happy milestone, maintaining a friendship is difficult. Intentionally investing time, even in small amounts, can be enough to maintain these important relationships.
It is above all an exercise in prioritization and balance, where love does not exclude friendship.