These Phrases That Show You’re Staying in a Relationship for the Wrong Reasons

If we thought objectively about the end of a relationship, we could probably fairly easily establish criteria that would push us to end it. The end of the feeling of love, betrayal, weariness, lack of fulfillment, incomprehension, repeated conflicts, incompatible life choices… There are a multitude of reasons that should push us to leave a person.

However, there are many times when many elements come together to push us to end a relationship, but we cannot bring ourselves to do so. Between our false excuses and denial, we lock ourselves into certain relationships.

False excuses that prevent a breakup

While there are indeed many reasons that push us to leave a person, if we don’t leave, it’s because there are reasons that push us to stay. But which ones are the most legitimate? Which ones are worth more than the others? While the reasons that push us to leave are often guided by our search for fulfillment and relational satisfaction as well as general, those that push us to stay respond more to fears.

Fear of finding yourself alone, of doing harm, of getting into financial difficulty, of being ashamed, of not finding anything better… If our fears are all legitimate, they sometimes keep us in relationships that make us unhappy. In a publication Instagram, therapist Susanne Wolf has selected sentences that illustrate the bad reasons that push us to stay :

• “I would rather be in an unsatisfying relationship than alone. »
• “A breakup would hurt him too much. »
• “I can’t afford it financially. »
• “I can’t do this to the kids/our family. »
• “I can’t say things/I’m afraid to say things.” »
• “Our relationship isn’t that bad/it’s not that terrible.” »
• “I would be too ashamed of the failure of the relationship. »
• “I don’t think it’s possible to have a better relationship/I’ll ​​never find a better one.” »
• “It’s going to get better. »
• “I have to be there for him, I can’t abandon him. »
• “I wouldn’t know how to do it alone. »
• “My parents had the same type of relationship. »

Signs of a relationship that needs to end

Even if the reasons that push you to stay sometimes take up all the space in your mind, there are objective signs that should encourage you to leave. For BridesSuzanne Degges-White, professional counselor, and Andrea Bonior, clinical psychologist, have listed the elements that should make you seriously consider ending this relationship. The end of emotional intimacy should alert you first. For example, you no longer confide in each other, you no longer show your vulnerability, you no longer laugh together. The same goes for physical intimacy. If it can fluctuate during life as a couple, when it remains at its lowest and nothing seems to reactivate it, there may be a deeper problem.

“When the arguments are incessant, to the point that there are very few minutes of calm, take them seriously,” says Andrea Bonior. But don’t argue at all is not a good sign either. “Some couples are so exhausted by arguments that they simply stop… They often stop sharing things with each other and have no ability to bring up any disagreements,” she says.