Do this exercise to develop your self-compassion
Compassion is generally one of the basic principles instilled in education. Being sensitive to what happens to others, to their pain, in empathy with what they may feel is taught from the most tender in France. But we are more rarely encouraged to practice it towards ourselves.
“Many of us think it’s good to be self-critical and hard on ourselves,” writes Emma Seppala, a researcher specializing in the field of well-being and emotional intelligence, for the scientific journal from Stanford. We wrongly think that success requires competition and surpassing oneself. Research, however, proves these theories to be false. » Quite the contrary, self-compassion, more than self-criticism, could serve our interests.
The benefits of self-compassion
“Scientific data shows that self-criticism makes us weaker in the face of failure, more emotional and less likely to assimilate the lessons of our failures,” reports Emma Seppala. Studies show that there is a much better alternative to self-criticism: self-compassion. » Self-compassion encompasses several practices that address to a need for kindness towards oneself. It’s about resilience, strength in the face of failure, the ability to learn from mistakes and bounce back with more enthusiasm. It’s about treating each other like a friend, understanding our situation in the context of the broader human experience, she explains.
Self-compassion allows us to be more understanding and gentle with ourselves by understanding our emotions, our mistakes, our failures. Several studies on self-compassion have also revealed real benefits on mental health. It helps reduce stress and anxiety, writes Jamie Smith, doctor of psychology, for PsychCentral. It also promotes self-esteem. “Self-compassion is often directly linked to positive self-talk and the ability to give ourselves grace and understanding for human errors,” explains Elizabeth Fedrick, psychotherapist. It facilitates general satisfaction and fulfilling relationships.
Develop self-compassion
There are many ways to practice self-compassion on a daily basis. In his book The Mindful Path to Self-CompassionChristopher Germer, psychologist at Harvard, advises in particular to take care of your body, to write a letter to yourself, to encourage yourself or to practice mindfulness.
Pour StylistTina Wright, psychotherapist, shared one of her methods for being more compassionate with yourself: take stock of stressful and traumatic events in our lives. “By tracing your history objectively, you are able to observe patterns, such as how stress has influenced your mental and physical well-being. It’s not about dwelling on the past, but rather recognizing the resilience you’ve shown – and being grateful for it. This practice promotes a softer and more accepting vision of yourself,” she assures. To put it into practice, write down the main stress points in your life. For each, write down your age, a brief description, and any physical or emotional reactions you experienced. Use this illustration to make connections you might not have considered before and to take an empathetic perspective by imagining a young person going through these experiences. Realize the strength and patience you have demonstrated over time and return to this list whenever you feel the need.