This surprising rule of life that we set for ourselves as a couple actually allows us to be happy
Although it is increasingly accepted that everyone lives their relationship in their own way, certain aspects of life as a couple remain subject to social pressure. For example, childless couples may receive many pressing questions about when they will have children and how many they will have.
And some choices are more difficult to make than others. In a new study published in The Journal of Gerontologyresearchers from Lancaster University and University College London wondered about the benefits of living as a couple apart in the elderly.
Non-cohabitation, a common choice among the elderly
In English, there is an expression to talk about these couples who, although happy together, do not wish to live under the same roof: living apart together, or live together but separately. In their latest study, published on December 3, 2024, Yang Hu and Rory Coulter questioned the impact of this practice among seniors. “Living together separately is a common type of partnership among older people,” they write. Although the benefits of intimate relationships on mental health are widely documented, the link between the couple without cohabitation and the mental health of older people remains little studied. »
To study this relationship, the researchers analyzed data from 2011 to 2023 from the UK Household Longitudinal Study. Using their models, they were able to observe how older people’s mental health varies depending on whether they are older or older. not living together, from marriage, from cohabitation and from singleness (never married, widowed, divorced/separated). They were also able to check whether transitions into and out of non-cohabitation, compared to marriage and to. cohabitation, are related to the mental health of older people.
Everyone at home to be happier?
The study shows that people over 60 enjoy living in different homes while maintaining an intimate and stable relationship with each other and that this benefits their mental health. Generally speaking, older adults who live with a partner experience less mental distress and better mental well-being. Regarding relationship changes, moving to non-cohabitation is associated with slightly improved mental health lower than that of marriage or cohabitation.
But, above all, if leaving a relationship, whether marriage, cohabitation or a relationship in two different homes, is painful in any case, an option would remain less stressful. In fact, leaving a non-cohabiting relationship is much less costly for mental health. Thus, the dynamics of living apart together appears to offer a balanced option for older people looking to enter into a relationship: a slightly smaller gain in mental health, but a much lower exposure to risk. The study also shows that non-cohabitation offers older women and men a more equal means of accessing mental health benefits through intimate relationships. “It is time that we see and recognize the strength of the often invisible intimate bonds beyond the home to maintain the well-being of the elderly,” assures Yang Hu to of the site from Lancaster University.