The golden rule of a healthy and fulfilling relationship, according to researchers

On social networks, users promise to reveal the secrets of healthy relationships. They highlight the importance of signs of attention. Nothing could be more logical: signs of attention help to maintain the emotional connection. These signs can take various forms, from direct questions to simple requests, including contact physical.

Sharing a joke, describing a situation, sending a photo, expressing your emotions or talking about an experience are all ways to show your partner that you care about him or her. But what does Science say? A study carried out by two doctors of psychology looked into the question.

Signs of attention, essential to the relationship

When your partner seeks your attention, your reaction may vary. You can respond indifferently, negatively, minimally, or enthusiastically. How you react can greatly influence the dynamics of your relationship. THE research by John and Julie Gottman, PhDs in psychology, revealed that the number of times one partner responds or rejects the other’s demands for attention can predict the length of the relationship. Couples who stay together for six years after marriage responded favorably to their partner’s demands for attention 85 percent of the time.

John Gottman even called these calls for attention “the fundamental unit of emotional communication.” So it seems that ignoring them completely is more harmful than occasionally reacting negatively. Therefore, responding in a caring manner to your partner’s requests strengthens the emotional connection and contributes to the sustainability of the relationship.